The Doctor and The Rocker
by docrock06
Summary: What if Ray got mixed up in something terrible, something that affected not only him but those around him? Read here to find out! When things about his past come out, will his family be able to help him through it?AU Fic.
1. Prologue

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

**This story is an AU fic, set in no particular season but in this story Ray is 22 years old. In this story Mark Green also did not die, because I love him so much. Benton will also be in this story. ****Kerry Weaver will also not have been adopted, like in ER, but I needed to change that factor for my story. Also this is not a romance fic, but you will find out the connection that she and Ray have further down the page…so I won't keep you!**

**Also some characters may be a bit OOC, e.g. Kerry and Ray**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

Kerry Weaver was sitting on the sofa of her two bedroom apartment drinking some wine and relaxing after having a very taxing day in the E.R. There had been a massive seven car pile up on the freeway and all four critical patients had been sent to Cook County General. Although all of the patients had made it through, a surprise to some of the doctors who would admit that it had been touch and go for a while, Kerry Weaver still just wanted to sit and having a relaxing evening to let out all of the stress of the hectic day which she had just endured.

Pulling her feet up onto the couch Kerry reached over and picked up the book which she was in the middle of reading, John Steinbeck's 'Of Mice and Men', a favourite of hers. Having opened the book for a mere ten minutes Kerry sighed as she heard the thrill piercing of the telephone in the corner of the room, and slamming her book shut after marking her current page with a bookmark, she lifted her crutch from the floor beside her and began to make her way towards the offending item shouting 'I'M COMING!', as she went, as if the person on the other line would be able to hear her and stop the noise coming from the phone.

Picking up the receiver on the phone Kerry said politely into the handset,

'Hello Kerry Weaver speaking, may I ask whose calling?'

'It's me Kerry, your sister, Karen' upon hearing those words Kerry felt her mouth go dry. Why would her sister be calling her at this hour unless something was wrong? Was it their parents?

'Kerry I was calling because I need you to do me a huge favour…please' Kerry sat down on the chair beside the phone and placed her hand over her racing heart, she really needed to calm down and stop jumping to conclusions.

'What is it Karen, if I can help you I will' Kerry meant it too; she would do anything to help her baby sister, even if they hadn't spoken in nearly ten years since Kerry moved to Chicago.

'Well the thing is, my husband David died a few days ago and I really need some time on my own to try and get my head around things' Kerry heard the wobble in her sisters voice as she said those words and also felt the moisture fill up in her own eyes. She didn't know David that well as Karen had only married him a few months before Kerry had moved away.

'Sure Karen if you need a place to stay when you' Kerry was cut off by her sister however before she even got to finish her offer of a place to stay.

'No, not me Kerry, I'm going to stay in Baton Rogue, but I was wondering if maybe Ray could stay with you for a few weeks?'

'Yes, of course he can…when will he be coming and I'll see if I have the day off to meet him at the airport?'

Kerry and her sister both made the arrangements that Ray would be coming in two days to come and stay with Kerry until Karen was better. However, Kerry would not be meeting him at the airport as she had a meeting that day and so Ray would be getting a taxi to the hospital where he would be seeing his aunt again for the first time in ten years.

Saying goodbye to her sister Kerry hung up the phone and went and resumed her previous position on the sofa. Only this time instead of reading her book she sat thinking about what the next few weeks would be like.

The last time she had seen her nephew he had been a short, thin child with sandy hair that shagged around his beautiful green-gold eyes. Getting up and walking towards her bedroom Kerry decided that she had done enough thinking for one night and decided to go to sleep and get rested for her nephew who would be here in only two days.

* * *

Kerry Weaver was standing at admit when Mark Green walked up to her, a smile on his face as he turned to her and said,

'So what time is his flight getting in?'

Kerry looked at her watch before saying,

'Not long now, his flight gets in at two. I just wonder how I'm going to recognise him though, the last time that I seen him he was a small twelve year old, now he's twenty two!'

Mark Green laughed with his friend before giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder as he said,

'I'm sure you'll recognise him somehow'

* * *

Looking at her watch again Kerry Weaver noticed that it was now half past two and she was beginning to get worried. Ray was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago and she was really contemplating on weather or not she should phone the airport to see if the flight had indeed arrived yet.

'Starin' at your watch aint' going to make time go any faster' said Frank around a mouthful of doughnut as he sat on the chair beside the phone at the admit desk where Kerry had found herself once again. Today had been a very slow day in the E.R and although any doctor was usually grateful for such a blessing, Kerry just wished that she had something to help pass the time.

'Well for your information Frank, I am waiting on someone and was wondering why they aren't here yet. So how about you do some work instead of pushing your nose into my business?' Kerry snapped back at the desk clerk.

Just as Kerry was about to pick up the phone and call the airport to make sure if her nephews flight was in, she heard the buzzing voice of none other than Robert 'Rocket' Romano down the hall calling her name.

* * *

Sitting in the back of the cab Ray looked out the window and couldn't help but think how miserable he was. He had been shipped off by his own mother to stay with an aunt who he hadn't seen since he was a child all because his mother felt that she '_needed some time to adjust_' after the death of her husband, Rays step-father. Ray had been upset when the man had died, yes, but he didn't know why his mother was taking it so badly. All his mother and step-father had done was fight anyway because David had been so fond of the drink. It had drove him to breaking point the amount of times that he or his mother would have to be patched up because David had been in a foul mood after a night of drinking and decided to take it out on them.

That had been the reason why Ray had decided to start a band; it was a way for him to let out all of the tension he was feeling in his music, not alone an opportunity to get out of the house for a few hours. Ray was pulled from his thoughts whenever the cab pulled into an ambulance bay of a hospital and declared to Ray,

'We're here', from the front seat. Getting out of the taxi Ray went to the boot to help the driver pull out his two bags which contained all of his stuff, and also his guitar. Giving the driver the money Ray slung his guitar over his bag and picked up both of his bags as he made his way to the front doors of the hospital, the sign above saying, 'Cook County General'.

Making his way to the front desk Ray noticed that there was a man sitting behind it who looked like he might work there so he decided that he would get him to help him with his dilemma, _finding my aunt in this place is so not gonna be easy_

Getting the attention of the man Ray offered him a small smile before he said,

'Ah, I was wondering if you knew where Dr. Kerry Weaver is?' Ray asked in his southern accent, sounding all the polite gentleman.

Frank eyed the young man in front of him up before he barked at him,

'Hold on a minute, I'll go get her'

Ray nodded at the man and set his bag on the ground waiting for his aunt.

* * *

'What are you talking about Robert, he doesn't need surgery so I suggest that you just put your scalpel away and stop being so'

Kerry was cut off when Frank opened the door to Trauma One and said,

'Dr. Weavers, there's some kid at admit looking for you'

Before Kerry could even ask who, Frank was out the door and already making his way back to the admit desk.

'We'll talk about this later Robert, but no surgery!' And with that Kerry left the trauma room and left a fuming Romano standing in the middle of the now empty room.

As Kerry got closer to the admit the only people that she could see was a young man and a teenage girl. Cursing Frank for not even bothering to tell her if the 'kid' was a male or female Kerry just walked on taking in the appearance of the young man.

He was about 5'11 and was of a thin build from what she could see. He was wearing a green coat with came down about mid-thigh and underneath he was wearing a band t-shirt. Adding to the, what appeared to be punk look, where large black biker boots underneath tight light blue jeans that had rips in the knees. The young mans brown hair was spiked up in all directions, but in a style of that look, not a messy way.

As Kerry neared the desk the young man turned to looked at her and she gasped when she saw his eyes, they were a beautiful green-gold and she realised that the punk kid was in fact her nephew who used to barley reach her shoulder but was now standing above her.

* * *

Turning his head Ray at the sound of a clicking noise Ray noticed that his Aunt Kerry hadn't changed a bit. She still had the same red hair and he guessed the same fiery temper.

Giving her a smile that showed sparkling white teeth Ray said,

'Aunt Kerry, long time no see'

* * *

**Well I leave you there! I hope that you liked and please review to let me know what you think! All you have to do is click on the little button on the left…I'll give you a cookie!**

**A/N I may be taking a break from writing my story, 'Bend and Not Break', as I have a bad case of writers block for that story and I am going to be updating that one for quite a while.**


	2. First Night

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO:**** First Night**

'_Long time, no see Aunt Kerry'_

Kerry was still in shock at looking at her nephew before her, he looked like something from rebel without a cause, nothing like she had remembered him. And he also had a soft southern accent which she picked up on immediately. Recovering from her initial shock Kerry walked forward and gave Ray a quick hug as she said,

'Yes it is. So was your flight alright?'

Kerry began walking towards the lounge, not feeling that she should have her conversation broadcasted in front of the entire ER, or actually in front of Frank who was sitting at the admit desk, his ears listening to every word that they were saying as he scoffed down another doughnut.

Walking into the lounge behind Kerry, Ray set his bags down on the floor out of the way of the door and walked and sat down beside Kerry on the sofa.

'Yeah it was fine…a bit bumpy on take off and landing...' Ray said with a smile.

Ray sat back in the seat, not knowing what to say next. I mean what would he say? He hadn't seen this woman in over ten tears and now he was supposed to know what to say to her. Wanting to break the awkward silence Ray said the first thing that came to his head,

'So, this is where you work'

Kerry laughed at his nervousness; she remembered how when he was a child every time that he went to visit her he wouldn't be able to _stop _talking, and now watching him trying to think of something to say she couldn't help but be amused.

'Yes it is, and trust me it is a lot of work. I get off in two hours but until then I guess you can always hang around?' Kerry said it as more of a question than a statement, I mean he wasn't a child, he was a twenty two year old man and he was capable of looking after himself. Or at least she hoped he was

'Oh, yeah I'll stay here' Ray tried not to sound too bummed out at the fact that he was going to have to stay in a smelly hospital with nothing to do and no one to talk to. He had hated hospitals since he was a kid and he had to get his tonsils out, since then he tried to steer clear of them altogether.

* * *

Sighing after Kerry left the lounge, Ray stood up and walked out the door that his aunt had just left. Walking back to the admit desk Ray began to absentmindedly tap his fingers on the desk.

John Carter had been playing around on the computer waiting on someone to come and let him sign off on his charts when he heard the sound of someone tapping their fingers on the desk. Turing around Cater noticed that it was a young man who looked only in his early twenties and was dressed like something from a hard core music video. Wondering what the young man could want Cater walked over to him and noticed that the man had not even noticed he was doing it by the look in his face.

'Can I help you?' Carter asked, wondering why the kid was in the E.R.

'Oh, ah, no I'm just waiting on my aunt, She isn't gonna be off for another few' Carter noticed that the kid had a southern accent and couldn't think of any of the people in the E.R who had a southern accent.

'Who's you're aunt?' _So what if I'm nosy_

'Oh, Kerry Weaver'

Carter knew that Kerry had said that her nephew was coming in for a few weeks, but he hadn't expected this. He had thought that the guy was going to be some small fiery red head, not a tall guy who look like the modern day Sid Vicious.

Noticing that he hadn't even introduced himself, Carter walked around to the front of the desk and extended his hand to the young man.

'John Carter'

'Ray Barnett'

Seeing Mark Green walking up the hall John quickly excused himself and grabbed his charts so that he could get signed off.

'Hey Mark, I was wondering if you would sign off on these for me?'

Carter fell in step with Mark as they both made there way back to the admit desk where Ray was still standing, still bored.

As Mark signed off on his charts Carter couldn't help himself,

'Hey Mark, have you met Ray here yet? He's Kerry's nephew'

Mark Green looked at the young man in front of him, and he couldn't help but think that he was nothing like he had expected.

'Hi, nice to meet you'

Ray reached his hand across as he said, 'Yeah you too'

After Carter had got all of his charts signed off he grabbed his coat from his locker and went back to the admit desk.

'Hey Ray, if you don't want to hang out around here there's a bar down the street if you want to grab a drink?' Carter waited for his reply and was shocked when Ray said,

'Or ten' Ray laughed and followed Carter down the street and into a bar named 'Ikes'

Walking inside Ray and Carter both walked and sat down on two stools at the bar. Carter ordered his usual beer, and was shocked when Ray ordered a shot of tequila. Noticing Carter staring at him weird Ray turned to him and said,

'What? You only live once' and with that he knocked back the shot and ordered a beer.

* * *

_**TWO HOURS LATER**_

'So I basically had to rip the guys chest open and start his heart again' Carter laughed as he remembered back to that day…it had been scary at the time but now it seemed so surreal.

'So have you ever done anything that scared you shitless at the time, but now it doesn't seem so bad' Cater asked Ray, hoping that he wouldn't be the only one who was slightly tipsy and admitting things like how scared he was when he really should be trying to act mature and grown up.

Ray leaned back in his chair and tried to think. It wasn't that he didn't get scared, it was just that a lot of the times that he did, thinking back on it he still felt shivers down his spine.

'Well, there was this one, me and my band where playing in this club out in one of the towns a few hours drive away form Baton Rouge cos one of the guys brothers owned a club and needed someone to play on short notice. So we played our set and we were getting ready to go, we had all of our gear loaded back into the van out the back when this _huge_ guy came walking out back and was shouting something one of us sleeping with his girlfriend.' Ray stopped and took a swig of his beer before continuing, 'and he came up to our drummer Justin and started kicking him around like he was nothing, and I mean Justin's a big guy. We all pulled the guy off him but man we all thought that Justin was dead.'

Carter watched the serious expression cross Rays face before it was quickly replaced with a smile as Ray said,

'Not as scary as a guy needing' his chest cut open but what can I say, I was sixteen'

Carter nodded his head before he said,

'So you have a band, what do you play?'

'Guitar and sometimes bass. I sing too.' Carter really couldn't get over the fact how completely different this kid was to Kerry Weaver. When they had been sitting down for a while Carter and Ray had both taken off there coats and Carter and noticed that Ray had at least two tattoos, well that he could see anyway.

Glancing at his watch Ray realised that Kerry would be getting off soon and decided that maybe now was the time to get back to county.

Carter noticed that Ray glanced at his watch and he too did the same, realising that he would have to go home soon if he was going to get any work done for tomorrow.

'Well Kerry will be getting going soon and I don't want to have her making my ears bleed cos I wasn't glued to one spot all day' Ray smiled at Carter before he got up out of his seat and pulled his coat back on and set money down on the table.

Carter couldn't help but laugh at what Ray had said; _at least she doesn't just yell at us like that, her family gets it too!_

* * *

_**BACK AT COUNTY**_

Ray was in the lounge getting his bags and guitar case when Kerry walked in with a smile on her normally angry face. Her shift had gone well and she was just happy to be getting to go home. In truth, she was also a little excited at getting to hear all about her nephew growing up and what he had been doing this past ten years. She remembered how she had always known every in and out of what he had been doing when he was a child, and now he was like a stranger to her, _and I will live with no strangers!_

'Yo, Aunt Kerr you ready to go?' Kerry turned and looked at her nephew, not knowing exactly what to say, she was going to tell him off for calling her 'Kerr', but when she saw the smile that he gave her she thought that she would let it slide, _but just this once._

* * *

_**KERRY'S APARTMENT**_

Kerry had told Ray that it was a good idea to get a taxi instead of the EL since he had bags with him and he didn't argue. He was indifferent either way because on the ride home he realised just how tired he had become and just wanted to get there sooner so that he could sleep.

Opening the door Kerry told Ray the way to the guest room and told him to settle in as she went about making a pot of coffee and seeing what she had for dinner.

Walking into the guest room Ray took in his surroundings. There was a king bed and a bedside table with a lamp on it. There were also a chest of drawers and a small walk in closet. On top of the chest of drawers there was a picture frame and Ray couldn't hold back the smile that he felt when he seen that it was a picture of his mother, Aunt Kerry and him at one of his soccer matched when he was about eight years old. His team had won that day and Ray had scored one of the goals and both his mother and his aunt were doting on him as if he had scored the winning goal in the world cup.

After all of his clothes were put away Ray walked back to the kitchen were Kerry was and leaned against the counter.

'So, what do you want to do tonight then' Kerry asked as she turned to look at Ray, who looked down at his feet as he thought for a moment. Meeting her gaze again Ray said,

'I don't know, what do you usually do? I don't want to get in your way'

Kerry smiled at the consideration in Ray's statement before saying,

'Well, I usually go over medical journals or read…but, since you are here I was thinking maybe we could watch some T.V?' Kerry said it as a question rather than a statement, and she realised that she was doing that a lot more.

'Sure, what do you have in mind?'

* * *

_**Two Hours Later**_

After finishing dinner and watching the end of a rather cheesy horror film, well in Kerry's opinion anyway, both Ray and Kerry were sat on the couch.

'So, how do you like Chicago so far? 'Kerry asked her nephew.

'Oh, yeah it's great. A bit colder than in Baton Rouge but I don't mind' Ray smiled at his aunt. He knew how awkward she felt trying to think of something to talk about._ Well then why don't you say something you idiot? Ask her what her job is like,_

'So what's it like being a doctor then, getting to save people' Ray asked with a grin.

'Oh, it's very challenging, but also very rewarding. Why are you thinking of doing something in the medical field?' Kerry asked with a smile, maybe her nephew was more like her than she thought.

'What, me? I don't know yet, I might do something with my band. Me and my buddy Brett set it up a while ago. He lives here in Chicago.'

Kerry couldn't help the thought, _or maybe not, _from running through her mind. But at least the band explained his look.

'Oh, you have a band, that must be very interesting' Kerry didn't really know anything about music, but the truth was she wanted to get to know her nephew better, like she used to and she knew that if she talked about something that he was obviously passionate about then that was a step forward.

'It is, gets me out of the house a lot. I've played in a lot of crappy places, but that's what it's all about' Ray smiled as he remembered some of the places he had played at. There was nearly always a fight going on afterwards, even if it didn't include Ray or his band, but you could always count on a show.

Kerry watched her nephew smile as he told her about the different places that he played at and he would talk animatedly when he was talking about a fight that had went on, waving his hands about and laughing. Kerry couldn't help but smile too as she realised that they easily fell back to the way which they were when he was only a child. He telling her all about what he had done and her listening tentatively. But she also then realised that she had missed out on him growing up, and since she didn't have any children of her own that was precious to her. She remembered back to the day when he was born and how small and beautiful he was when she first saw him.

* * *

_START OF FLASHBACK_

_Kerry Weaver walked through the halls of the large hospital which her sister was at. She had received a phone call just twenty minutes prior from her brother-in-law Rick had phoned her to tell her that her sister was in hospital and that she had just had a baby boy. Kerry had got tears in her eyes when she had heard the news, it was her first nephew. Walking down the hall Kerry came to the reception who told her the number of the room in which Karen Barnett and her new son where in._

_Walking further Kerry came to the large, brown door with the number, '321' printed on the front and knocked before she opened it after hearing someone saying, 'Come in!'._

_Opening the door Kerry walked straight over to her sister to congratulate her with a big hug and a bunch of flowers. She then gave her brother-in-law Rick and big hug too and congratulated the new father._

'_So where is he?' Asked a very eager Kerry who wanted to see her nephew as soon as possible._

'_They just took him to clean him up. They should be back any minute now'_

_Kerry sat down in the other vacant seat which was beside the bed and no more than tow minutes a nurse came into the room, holding a small bundle wrapped in a light blue blanket._

_Kerry watched as they bundle was handed to Karen who looked down at it lovingly before she looked to Kerry and asked,_

'_Do you want to hold him?' Kerry just nodded her head and stood to take the small bundle from her sister's arms. Once she had him in her arms Kerry gentle sat back in the chair and gazed at the sleeping face of the small baby. _

'_Have you thought of a name yet?' Kerry asked never taking her eyes off of the baby in her arms._

'_Yes, we're going to call him Raymond Landon Barnett'_

_Kerry looked down and whispered to the little bundle in her arms, _

'_Hello there Ray, I'm you're Aunt Kerry' and just at that moment the baby opened its small eyes to reveal beautiful green-gold eyes which had small hazel flecks in them. They were the most beautiful eyes that she had ever seen._

_Kerry couldn't help but smile with the baby, now confirmed as Ray, gave a tired little yawn at her before closing his eyes and dropping back to sleep._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

* * *

Ray stopped talking when he noticed the look in his aunt's eyes, they looked distant as if she was remembering something and he couldn't help but wonder what.

'Hey, Aunt Kerry, what you thinking bout?'

Kerry turned to Ray and said,

'What, nothing. Just day dreaming'

'About all your wild days at rock concerts' Ray said with a small laugh and this earned him a small scowl from his Aunt, _I guess she still does have that temper!_

Standing Ray turned to Kerry and said,

'Well I'm beat for tonight so I think that I might just turn in and leave you to do…whatever it is you do. Goodnight'

And with that Ray walked into the spare room and stripping down to his boxers and socks Ray climbed into bed and as soon as his head hit the people he was asleep.

* * *

**Hope that you liked the long update! If you review I promise to do the same again LOL**

**Also I know that babies don't actually get the colour of there eyes for a few weeks and they are all blue when they are just born, but I just thought that it would be cute to have in a flashback.**


	3. Discoveries

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

* * *

**CHAPTER ****THREE: Discoveries**

When Ray woke the next morning the first thing that he noticed was that the light shinning through the curtains was what probably woke him in the first place. Ray was never an early riser and when he glanced at the clock which was situated on the pine bedside table he noticed that the neon green numbers where blinking '8.00', and he couldn't help but groan as he threw his arm over his eyes.

After ten minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get back to sleep due to the light streaming in from his window and the racket from his aunt out in the living room Ray decided that maybe he should just get up and not waste the day. Standing up Ray made his way to the door and laughed to himself as he realised that he was only wearing a pair of black boxer shorts and he didn't think that that look would go down well. Grabbing a pair of sweats from the drawers and throwing yesterdays t-shirt on over his head Ray ran his hand through his, no doubt, messy brown hair and walked out into the living room where he was greeted with a quick, 'Good morning' by Kerry just as she zoomed past him into the kitchen.

Following his aunt into the kitchen Ray took a seat at the table and said,

'So, you work again today?'

Kerry Weaver answered with a quick nod of the head as she thrust two pieces of bread in the toaster and then went about making a pot of coffee. After filming the pot with warm water and coffee Kerry turned to Ray and said,

'I figured that staying at the hospital for 12 hours wouldn't be your type of fun, so I was thinking that maybe you could get the EL into town and get a few things for me'

Ray quickly agreed, the idea of having to hang around that hospital again wasn't the least bit appealing to him, I mean who wanted to sit bored out of their mind all day when they could be doing better things, _even if it is only watching TV_

'Sure, what do you need me to get?'

Kerry wrote a list and left money on the worktop and told Ray that if he needed anything just to get it when he was out, and then she was out the door to start another day in the E.R.

* * *

_**Two Hours Later**_

Ray was sitting vegged out in front of the T.V, watching a soap opera that was so corny he couldn't turn over because it was making him laugh so much. After he had gotten his breakfast and done the dishes, being a good houseguest, he decided that it was too early to go into town so instead he had ended up here. Looking at the clock that rested on top of the T.V, Ray seen that it was just after ten and decided that he would get a shower and then go on the task that Kerry had set him.

Standing up and stretching Ray walked to the bathroom and pulled out the towels that he would need out of the cupboard and couldn't help but smile at the fact that the only towels he had to choose from where either pink or a baby blue colour. _I am so glad that nobody is here to see this._ Nearly forgetting Ray walked to his room to get his toiletries bag because no doubt if all of her towels where this colour then her shampoo and body wash would probably leave him smelling like lavender or some other feminine scent which he didn't really wish to smell like.

Striping down Ray stepped into the shower and turned the water on full blast. Standing under for a few minutes Ray squeezed a glob of shampoo in his hand and began to work it through his hair, sticking it up in all directions as the shampoo worked the same way as his gel, styling his hair in a wild feral way. After rinsing all of the suds out of his hair Ray began to wash his body and after about ten minutes he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel low on his hips.

After drying off a bit Ray grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and began brushing his teeth. After rinsing his mouth out with water and mint mouthwash Ray grabbed the smaller towel he had gotten out of the cupboard and began drying his hair, which was resting just above his eyebrows, but after the vigorous drying with the towel though it was sticking up and had a fluffy look to it, which Ray thought didn't really go with the image he had. Looking in the mirror Ray seen that his latest tattoo, situated on his lower stomach just between his hips, was still a little red around the edges and touching it lightly with his index finger he noticed also a little sore.

Glancing around Ray noticed that he had forgotten to bring any clothes in with him and so he opened the door to with was adjoined to the living room and made his way to the room he was staying in. Grabbing a pair of dark denim jeans and plain gray t-shirt which had little holes in it, Ray realised that it was actually cold and also grabbed a black jumper and threw it on the bed beside the rest of his clothes. Dropping the towel to the ground Ray quickly pulled on his black boxer and slid his jeans on over them as well as his studded belt. Sitting down on the bed Ray pulled on his socks and black converse before pulling the gray t-shirt and black jumper over his head as well. Going over to the mirror that sat on top of the chest of drawers in his room, Ray began to work gel into his hair, styling it like the day before. Just before leaving the room Ray grabbed his wallet from his bag and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans.

Walking into the kitchen Ray grabbed the note and money and shoved them into the other empty pocket of his jeans before grabbing his coat and making his way out the door.

* * *

Standing on the EL Ray couldn't help but notice how different this place was than Baton Rouge. In Chicago everyone was always doing something, they didn't have time to sit and be bored, and that was one of his favourite things about this place. He didn't like to have nothing to do.

As the EL pulled to his stop Ray stepped out and onto the platform, trying to figure out which way it was he was supposed to be going. Seeing a sign above his head that read, 'City Centre' and an arrow pointing in the direction that he was facing Ray began to walk that way, hoping that he was in fact going the _right _way.

* * *

Three hours later Ray was back sitting in front of the T.V, after having put all of the groceries away and leaving the change sitting on the counter beside the now crumpled up shopping list. Ray had never been more exhausted in his life. After having been pushed and shoved for the better part of three hours he wanted nothing more than to sit on the couch with his feet up and rest for a while.

Hearing someone banging on the door Ray realised that he must have fallen asleep when he looked at the clock and realised that it had been four hours since he had gotten home. Standing and rubbing the back of his neck Ray went to the door and opened it to reveal a very wind blown and angry looking Kerry.

'Hey, Aunt Kerry you're home early' Ray said as he moved aside to let his aunt in through the door.

'Oh, yeah the E.R was slow so I got away. So did you get the things on the list?' Kerry questioned as she took off her cream trench coat and hung it on the hook beside the door before she made her way to the living room to sit on the sofa.

'Huh, ah, yeah. It's all put away' Ray smiled, hoping to get her in a better mood. Seeing that she gave a small smile Ray made to go to his room and give her some time to relax.

'Well, I just let you put your feet up, I'll go and listen to some music' and before Kerry could even protest Ray had shut the door to his room and had flopped down onto the bed, still unmade from the morning, its navy covers rumpled, and pulled lifted his Ipod from the bedside table, putting the headphones in his ears and listening to some loud guitar rifts.

* * *

30 minutes later Ray was disturbed from his music when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and pulled it out of his jeans to and looked at the screen which read, '1 New Text Message'. Flipping the phone open Ray seen that the message was from his friend Brett, who lived in Chicago, and had invited him along to a party, telling him that it was so they could 'catch up on lost time'. Smiling Ray quickly replied back and pulling his earphones out he quickly put it on the bedside table and changed his shirt, because the one he was wearing looked at though it had been slept in, _that's because you __**did**__ sleep in it!_ Pulling a black sleeveless shirt on, Ray grabbed a sports jacket from the wardrobe and made his way out into the living room.

'Hey, Aunt Kerry a buddy of mine is having a party and I think I'm gonna go and check it out, so don't wait up' Ray said with a smile.

'O.K, but don't stay out too late' Kerry didn't know what to say, _I mean it's not like I can tell him 'no', his twenty two year old man, I think he is capable of looking after himself._

* * *

Pulling up to the house that Brett had told him the party was at, Ray stepped out of his car and made his way through the front door, and he was instantly greeted by the sound of his friend shouting to him, 'Barnett, my man, long time no see!' and with a hard pat on the back Ray had a bottle of beer thrust into his hand.

Twenty minutes later, and three beers more Ray was sitting around a table with his friends Brett, Benny, Jerry and Matt. They had all been talking about all of the crazy things that they had done when they were in high school together. All of the others boys except for Ray had went to collage or moved away to get jobs, but Ray had decided to stay in Baton Rouge and go to LSU, so they didn't really see each other that much and were making up for lost times.

'So Barnett, Matt here brought some stuff, thought that maybe we could try it out' Brett said as he swung his arms over Rays shoulder as he set the small bag of heroin on the table, along with a lighter, a spoon and a lump of cotton wool.

'Well why didn't you say so earlier?' Ray said with a smirk as he took off his jacket and began to tighten the belt that was handed to him around his arm, getting ready for the power hit that he knew the drug brought.

* * *

Back in the apartment Kerry Weaver looked at the clock and noticed that it was going on for eleven O' Clock, and because she didn't have to work tomorrow, she thought that she would have a nice warm bath, to relax her tense muscles. Stepping into the bathroom after getting changed into her dressing gown, gathering her pyjamas and getting the large fluffy towels she would need, Kerry noticed that there was a bag sitting beside the sink, lying open.

Knowing that it wasn't hers, so it must be Rays, Kerry picked up the shampoo and body wash from the edge of the tub that had obviously been being used earlier and went to place them back in the bag so that they wouldn't get mixed in with her own. As she placed the items in the bag, something caught her eye, and putting her hand in what she pulled out both shocked and angered her, _a needle._

* * *

Ray watched with sick fascination as the needle slowly slid under his skin, and as he pushed the plunger to inserted the energy buzzing drug into his body he instantly felt himself becoming high, his head becoming lighter.

* * *

Kerry Weaver sat down on the seat of the toilet, in a state of shock._ How could he be so stupid?_ Still holding the needle in her hand Kerry stood up and walked over, placing it back in the bag and roughly zipping it shut. Walking back to her room Kerry put on some clothes, no bath was going to relax her tense muscles now, she was absolutely livid! She still couldn't get her head around the fact that her well mannered, polite but sometimes cocky nephew was actually using drugs. Suddenly a mountain of questions flooded to her mind all at once, _had he taken any drugs when he was in her house?, is that where he had went tonight?, did Karen know what her son was doing and that was why she needed time on her own?_

Pouring herself a glass of bourbon to calm her nerves Kerry sat on the sofa and waited for her nephew to come home, for she had a few words to say to him when she saw him.

* * *

Standing up Ray noticed that he actually didn't feel as great as he usually did after getting a hit, instead he felt strange and was very dizzy. Suddenly the room around him began to spin and before he knew it everything was black.

* * *

**Well there you go Chapter 3! Hope that you liked it and I know that Ray is very OOC in this chapter, but heh what would a fanfiction be if we just wrote what they did on the T.V!?! Please review as it will make my day, and maybe I will write another long update!**


	4. Why did this happen?

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

* * *

**CHAPTER ****FOUR: Why did this happen?**

Brett was sitting at the table when Ray had got up, saying that he needed another beer, but Brett knew by the look on his friends face that something else was wrong. And his suspicions where true when all of a sudden before his eyes he watched as Rays body went slack and he collapsed to the floor.

Jumping from his seat and raised over to his fallen friend, and even though he was a little drunk, he hadn't taken any drugs and was well aware that if something like this happened _after_ someone had just jacked themselves up it couldn't be good. Remembering what he had been taught in health class back in high school, Brett lowered his ear to Rays mouth, hoping to hear the sound of his breath, or at least feel it on the side of his face. But when he did however, he neither felt nor heard anything and this caused Brett's heart to just into his throat.

Ray was lying on his back on the floor the same way he had been when he collapsed, and Brett was sitting beside him, his fingers on his neck, not that he really knew where to find a pulse, he just remembered from all of the programmes that he had watched where people got hurt, that someone always checked for a pulse.

'Matt, Jerry, somebody call an ambulance!' Brett shouted at the top of his lungs, causing a lot of people who had also been outside to turn around and notice what was going on.

'No, you cant Brett, they'll tell the cops that I had drugs…I'll be done for!' Matt shouted back as he made his way over to Ray, pushing past the crowd that had formed around him.

'Well what do you thinks worse Matt, a bit of jail time or knowing that you killed your friend you selfish bastard!' Brett shouted his face red.

'They said they'll be here in five minutes!' Shouted Jerry from inside the house, he had ran to the phone as soon as Brett had said anything.

* * *

Frank was sitting at the admit desk when the radio bleeped, but before he could make his way over to it, Green had already picked it up. The E.R had been slow that night so most of the staff that were on duty were sitting around the desk, talking and gossiping.

'Hello, this is county general' Green said into the receiver.

'This is dispatch; we have a twenty two year old male, collapsed at a party coming in. Suspected overdose, ETA is 10 minutes'

'Thank you dispatch, over' Green turned to the staff who were sitting at the admit, most of them had already gotten off there seats and were making there way to the trauma room to get ready.

'Okay, Carter you come wait outside with me'

'Sure thing boss' said Carter as he followed Mark out into the ambulance bay, wrapping his arms around himself to try and keep warm.

* * *

Brett was sitting in the back of the ambulance with Ray; the rest of his friends had said that they would follow behind in the car. Brett couldn't take his eyes off Ray as he looked at his, his face pale, with an ampu bag over his mouth forcing air into his body.

Not quickly enough the ambulance pulled into County and the doors were thrust open to reveal two doctors, one who had glasses and was going bald; the other only looked a few years older than Brett.

* * *

Mark and Carter watched as the ambulance pulled up, the doors swinging open and Doris and Chuck pulling out the gurney. Mark and Carter both looked at each other with a look of shock, and at the same time both said,

'We need to phone Kerry'

* * *

Sitting on the couch Kerry glanced at the clock, it was nearing midnight now and Kerry wasn't sure how much longer she could wait for without breaking something out of frustration. Over the past hour her mind had wondered back to all of the wonderful times that she and Ray had spent together, and it only added to the shock of what she had found.

Suddenly the phone rang, snapping Kerry out of her reverie and she reached over and put the handset to her ear,

'Kerry Weaver sp' and before she could even finish what she was saying Kerry was cut off by the person on the other line.

'I'm sorry Kerry, its Chuny here, you need to come down to the hospital straight away, it's your nephew'

'Sure, I'll be right there' Kerry put down the phone and felt her heart pounding in her chest as she grabbed her coat and made her way to the door, walking as fast as her crutch would allow. Some of the anger had left her, just to be replaced with worry. _Had he been hurt in an accident? Was it something to do with drugs?_

Stepping onto the street Kerry was lucky to see a cab and hailed it over with a frantic wave of the hand, and as soon as she was in she ordered the driver to get to county general quickly as he could.

* * *

'O.K, on my count, one…two…three!', and with that the doctors transferred Ray from one gurney to the next. Green quickly began shouting out orders to all of the doctors and nurses in the room, they were working on one of there owns now, and they were going to do as much as they could.

'O.K somebody start an I.V, get a blood gas and tox screen to see what he took…And someone call Kerry Weaver!' Green shouted the last bit, and moved to the head of the bed, taking over the pumping of the ampu bag.

Suddenly Ray whole body began to spasm, Carter and Luka grabbing his arms and legs to stop him thrashing about.

'Get the restraints!' Luka shouted, holding Rays arm in place as he slipped his wrist into the padded area, tightening to make sure that he would stop trashing about. After about two minutes Ray fell limp on the gurney once again.

'Heroin, he took heroin' Nurse Abby Lockhart called as she raced into the room with the tox screen results in her hands

'Okay, push 10 mils of naloxone intravenously, and what's his BP?' , Green asked as he looked up to see a very shaken looking Kerry standing at the door.

'Low, only 60/120' Abby said, looking at the monitor as she inserted the needle into Rays arm to supply him with the medication.

* * *

Kerry Weaver jumped as fast as she should from the cab to the entrance of the hospital and when she got to admit she didn't even have to ask as Frank pointed towards trauma one. Walking down the hall as fast as she could Kerry noticed that someone else was also standing outside of the room, a man about Ray's age with black hair that had a chunk at the front dyed red. She had no doubt that this was one of Rays friends but was too concerned about the well being of her nephew to go and give the boy the telling off which he deserved.

Stopping in front of the door, Kerry was shocked to see her nephew, lying on the gurney, pale and hooked up to a heart monitor, an I.V, and had Green standing at the end of the bed, pushing air into the lungs of Rays visibly weakened body.

Abby rushed past her into the room, saying something about heroin, _he overdosed on heroin, _and before Kerry could even register what she had just heard the eyes of Mark Green met hers as he told Abby to push the medication.

Walking into the room, Kerry walked to the head of the bed and looked Mark straight in the eyes, her voice never wavering as she said,

'How bad is it?'

Mark passed over the task of breathing for Ray to Haleh, as he moved over to the side of the room; telling Kerry to sit as he explained to her what was going on.

'He was brought in with a heroin overdose, and he wasn't breathing. His body was reacting to the heroin, thrashing around so we had to put restraints on to stop him from hurting himself. We're going to see if his body takes the naloxone and if it does then we'll keep him down here for about 3 hours and then send him up to the ICU'

Mark watched as Kerry took in everything that he was saying, and he noticed the brief flash of anger that crossed her eyes before she said,

'So if he wasn't breathing for about ten minutes, then there could be brain damage' Kerry knew that Mark was hoping for the best case scenario, but the truth was he didn't know if her nephew was going to come out of this Okay.

Mark didn't know what to say, the truth was that it _was _possible that Ray could have suffered neurological damage, but he didn't know what to say to his friend.

'Well, I'll order a head CT just to check O.K.'

Most of the other doctors had left the room to tend to the rest of their patients; there wasn't much that they could do now except for pray that Ray would get better. The only doctors still in the room where Kerry, Mark, Carter and nurse Haleh and Abby.

* * *

As Kerry and Mark where talking quietly in the corner Carter was writing notes down on the chart, Haleh was still at the head of the bed pumping oxygen into Rays body and watching the time to make sure that she knew when the drug had been in for ten minutes.

Abby had left the room to go and get a blanket to cover Ray with so that she could change him into a gown; the clothes that he had been wearing had bits dirt on them from when he had been on the ground. Walking over to the bed Abby noticed that Mark and Kerry were gone and knew that they had probably went to the family room to fill out the family consent forms for the treatment that Ray would be receiving.

Throwing the blanket over Ray's bottom half Abby pulled off his shoes and socks, putting them in the patients' personal belongings bag. Next she pulled his jeans of and put them in the bag along with his other belongings before she set the gown on top of the blanket.

Carter stopped from writing his notes and moved to the top of the bed, slipping the restraints off, receiving a confused look from Abby.

'The medication is working, BP's higher already.' Carter said.

Leaning over to slip the other hand out of the restraints Carter watched as Abby cut along the front of the t-shirt and helped slide Rays arm through the armhole in the gown.

'I got a drink with him yesterday when he just got in…I didn't think he would ever be the type to do drugs'

Abby nodded her head in agreement, from what she had heard about Ray from Kerry he seemed like a nice kid, maybe a bit different in the fashion department, but nice none the less, Abby thought as she fixed the blanket again, so that it was over the gown.

* * *

Brett walked into the trauma room, his friend lying in the bed making him feel tears in the back of his eyes; _this is my entire fault, if only I didn't suggest the idea of taking the damn drugs then he wouldn't be here._

Carter turned to the young man that had just entered the room, knowing that he was Ray's friend as he had been in the ambulance with him when he arrived.

'Is he gonna be O.k.? 'Asked Brett in a shaky, uncertain voice.

'I don't know, his brain was deprived of oxygen and there may be some neurological damage, but we won't know for sure until he wakes up' Carter looked at the young man, feeling a bit of sympathy for him, he was obviously concerned about his friend, but also obviously not enough that he let him get this way in the first place.

'Well actually we might have a bit of an indication' said Mark Green as he entered the room again, Kerry hot on his heels.

'How do you mean?' Asked Brett, not looking at Kerry so that he didn't have to see the hate in her eyes for what he had done to her nephew. He had met Kerry once before and she hadn't like him much then, he was sure that she didn't like him at all now.

'Well, we ordered a head CT, and by the looks of it there is no swelling of the brain, but, we also ordered a lung film and that shows that he has pneumonia, and although it is quite rare, it's true'

Brett looked and Kerry and after seeing the hate in her eyes, he quickly made an excuse to leave, not wanting to cause Kerry any more pain than she was no doubt ably in now.

Green walked over to the monitor and gave a small frown, not liking what he saw,

'What is it Mark?' Kerry asked as she moved closer to the bed to try and get a look at the monitor, while still holding Rays hand in her own, her other hand stroking his forehead.

'What, no, his BP is just a little low still, but nothing to worry about. His body seems to be responding to the medication well. We'll just keep him down here for another few hours then send him up to ICU'.

Kerry sat down in the chair beside the bed as everyone else left the room, Rays breathing returning to a steady enough rhythm and his breaths not being too shallow meaning that he could breathe on his own with the aid of only an oxygen mask.

Squeezing his hand in her own as she brushed some hair off his forehead, Kerry said to Ray in a quiet voice,

'Why did this happen?'

* * *

**Well I hope that you liked this update, and please review and let me know what you think, good or bad!**

**A/N I looked up the stuff about the treatment for heroin overdoses off a medical website, so all of it should be pretty accurate, but if you are unsure about any part, tell me in a message and I will try and clear it up for you.**


	5. Not Out of The Woods Yet

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER ****FIVE: Not Out of The Woods Yet**

It had been an hour since Ray had been brought to county and he was still in the E.R.

They had been observing his vitals and were pleased that he seemed to be responding well to the medication. Kerry was still sitting in the room, holding her nephews hand as a sign of comfort to both him and herself. Over the past hour Haleh and Abby had both been in to check on his vitals, neither saying anything to Kerry, the truth was they didn't know what they could say.

Kerry was still holding Rays hand when she felt a slight squeeze, and when she looked to the pale face of her nephew her suspicions where confirmed when she saw him beginning to open his eyes, although it was with a fixed effort.

Pulling her chair closer to the bed Kerry brushed some hair out of Rays face as she said in a quiet voice,

'Ray sweetie, open your eyes' Kerry knew that she should really get one of the nurses to go and get Mark, he was his primary carer on this case after all, but she just had to make sure that her nephew was alright first.

* * *

Ray slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that everything was blurred together, and he also wasn't in the same place he was when he had fallen. _What the hell happened? Where am I? _Ray turned his head at the sound of the soft voice of his aunt, locking his gaze with her.

* * *

Kerry watched as Ray opened his eyes, looking at the ceiling before she called his name once more, and watched as Ray slowly turned his head to look at her. She could tell that he was still a little high by the fact that his pupils where still slightly dilated, and she could also see the guilt in his eyes.

'Ray, do you know where you are?' Kerry said as she stood, looking down into the eyes of her nephew.

'…in the hospital' Ray said in a horse voice, his mouth dry and he swallowed several times, trying to rid his mouth of that awful feeling.

'Yes…do you know why?' Kerry said the last part a little harsher than she had intended to, but she was still angry at the fact that Ray had done drugs. She wasn't going to get into it with him right there, but when they went home she was going to sit him down and tell him all of the things that she had been sitting home all night waiting to do.

Just as Ray was about to answer Mark Green came walking into the room, a look of surprise on his face when he saw that Ray was awake. Walking up to the head of the bed Mark lifted the head of the bed so that Ray was sitting in a half-upright position, so that everyone wasn't looking down at him. Mark noticed that Ray was still a little pale and he too also noticed that Rays eyes were a little glassy, his pupils still dilated. Knowing that this was just the cause of such a high dose of heroin, the medication not being able to rid all of it from a patient's body Mark didn't worry too much, knowing that it would pass soon enough.

'So Ray do you know where you are?' Asked Mark, wanting to see if Ray was aware of his surroundings and about what had happened to check his neurological status.

'In the hospital' answered Ray, receiving a smile from Mark who was obviously pleased by the quick answer.

'And do you know why you're in the hospital?' Mark asked looking Ray directly in the eyes.

Ray nervously bit his lip and looked down to his hands which were sitting in his lap before saying in a quiet voice,

'I was at a party…and I uh…took some stuff, and it made me feel light headed and dizzy…then I passed out and when I woke up I was here' Ray looked up and into the eyes of Kerry and he could see the shame and anger emitting from them and so he quickly turned his gaze back to his hands.

Mark looked over at Kerry and then back to Ray before saying,

'Well that's good, I just have to do a quick listen to your chest and then we'll keep you down here for another hour or two before your moved upstairs to the ICU'

Ray nodded as Mark pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and placed it over Ray's chest and back, asking him to take deep breaths. Kerry watched the look of worry that etched onto Marks face and said to him in a worried voice,

'What's wrong?'

'Well there are some crackles, but that's probably the pneumonia setting in. But once his up in the ICU we'll start him on some antibiotics and keep a close eye on him to make sure that it doesn't get any worse.'

Kerry gave Mark a weak smile and watched as he patted Ray on the shoulder before he left the room again. Turning her gaze back to Ray, Kerry said,

'So Ray, do you want to tell me what this is all about?' Kerry watched as Ray slowly lifted his head to meet her gaze, and she could see the unmistakable sign of tears in the back of his eyes as he said in a voice so quiet that she had to lean closer to hear him,

'I'm sorry'

Kerry didn't know what to say, she had been expecting some sort of far fetched story, not an apology. Seeing that now probably wasn't the time to start Kerry decided that she would just leave it until he was better.

Ray coughed roughly, the feeling making him wince, his throat dry, a reaction to the heroin overdose. Noticing this Kerry said,

'I'll go and see if I can get you a drink. I'll be right back' and gave Ray a small smile before leaving.

* * *

_**Ten Minutes Later**_

Kerry had met Carter in the cafeteria and he had said that he would like to see how Ray was as they had met the other day and he just wanted to make sure that he was alright. Both doctors made there way back up to the room which Ray was in, Kerry carry herself a cup of coffee, needing the caffeine to keep her awake and Carter also carrying a cup of coffee and a glass of water for Ray.

As Kerry and Carter got off the elevator they were alarmed to see Abby running out of the trauma room that Ray was in, a look of alarm on her face. Picking up her pace Kerry made her way to the trauma room and froze when she saw that Ray was now intubated and Luka was doing compressions.

Snapping out of her initial shock Kerry pushed her way into the room, and Haleh immediately went to her side, trying to ease her over to the side.

'Dr. Weaver, maybe you should sit down' said Haleh in a gentle voice at the look of Kerry's paled features.

'What happened?' Questioned a very distraught Kerry as she watched and heard her nephews body being lifted from the bed and slamming back down as 200 joules of energy jolted through it, trying to bring his body back from the brink.

'When I came in earlier to check on his vitals his B/P had dropped back down and I went to get Doctor Green and when I came back he had stopped breathing'

Kerry didn't know what to think, _he was fine when I left, what could have happened?_

Mark was standing at the side of the bed, defibrillators in hands, watching as the monitor still showed and a flat line.

'Okay, charge it to 250…clear!' Mark kept his eyes on the monitor and breathed a sigh of relief,

'Sinus tach…okay somebody get a urinary analysis, chest film and head CT now!' Mark shouted out, wanting to know what had caused this.

* * *

Ten minutes later Chuny returned to the trauma room and handed mark the results of the tests. Mark pinned the chest film and head CT to the board and flipped on the light. Standing beside him Luka Kovac let out a gasp of shock before turning to Abby and saying in his thick Croatian accent,

'Call surgery, now! Tell them to have a bed waiting'

Kerry snapped her head up at the mention of surgery and saying in an alarmed voice,

'Surgery? Why what's wrong?' Walking as fast as she could with her crutch Kerry walked over to the board and looked at the head CT which was showing that Ray had a bleed in his brain due to the overdose and that was what had probably caused all of this.

Luka had unhooked the monitor and placed it on the bed and unlocking the wheels he, Carter and Abby all began to pushed the bed to the elevators.

Following quickly behind Kerry and Mark both made there way to stand by the bed, the former holding her nephews limp hand in her own, praying that he was going to be O.K.

* * *

**Well there you have it, chapter 5! Hope that you liked it and please review!**


	6. Wake Up

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

**A/N I don't know if I'm going to continue this story after this chapter cos I'm not really getting reviews and I don't think there is much point in me carrying on if no one wants to read it…but if I get more than 5 I will continue!**

* * *

**CHAPTER ****SIX: Wake Up**

It was an hour after Ray had come out of surgery and he was intubated and hooked up to machines to monitor his vitals. He had a bandage wrapped around his head; underneath it was the three inch scar that the surgeons had to make to remove the clot in his brain.

Kerry watched as his chest was rising, the machine doing for him what his body could not at the moment. The doctors in neurosurgery weren't sure if they had gotten the bleed on time, or if Ray was going to be left with any permanent brain damage, and sitting in the chair of the hospital room all Kerry could think was, _and all because of one stupid mistake._

Kerry was waiting on her sister arriving, for she had been called as soon as Ray had needed surgery, to give consent and now she was on the next flight from Baton Rouge to Chicago to get to her son who needed her. Kerry had made sure that Karen had not been told that the cause of the bleed was drugs; she knew that it was a very difficult subject to have to approach and she wanted to break the news to Karen herself.

* * *

_**Six Hours Later**_

Kerry was still sitting in the same spot that she had been as soon as Ray was taken out of surgery when her sister walked through the door to the room, her face tear stained as she rushed over to the bed and gently lifted her sons hand in her own, noticing how cold it was.

'How did this happen…my poor baby' Karen began to sob and Kerry stood from the chair and wrapped a comforting arm around her sister, knowing that when she told her it would not ease her mind at all.

'Maybe you should sit down Karen…what I have to tell you is very difficult.' Kerry waited until her sister had sat down to continue,

'He was brought in earlier this evening…it was with an overdose…heroin' Kerry watched the look of shock cross her younger sisters face, 'he had been to a party, and when they finally got him here he wasn't breathing…that could have caused the bleed'

Karen looked from her sister over to her son, hooked up to some many wires, he looked so young and vulnerable, she just wished that she could make him better like when he was a child and was sick…but she knew that there was nothing that she could do now except pray that he would pull through this.

* * *

_**The Next Morning**_

Kerry had went home the night before, Karen telling her that she had done enough and that she should rest.

Karen was sitting holding her sons hand and watching his face when all of a sudden she felt a weak squeeze on her hand. Looking down Karen was astonished to see that Ray's fingers were loosely wrapped around her own. Standing up but still holding Rays hand Karen pushed the button to call for a nurse and watched her son's eyes as they slowly opened, and she felt warm tears running down her face at the sight of her sons beautiful greens eyes, eyes that she had last night thought she may never see again.

A nurse and doctor came running into the room, rushing over to the bed to see what was wrong, but immediately calmed down when they seen that he had woken up, a very good sign.

Rays mother watched as he weakly tried to lift his hand to the tube that was in his throat, obviously causing him some discomfort as he screwed his eyes shut.

'No, you can't take that out Ray. If you wait just a minute I'll take it out for you' said the doctor, looking at Karen with a small smile.

Karen watched as the doctor sat the head of Rays bed up after he checked him over, and was obviously satisfied that everything was fine.

'O.K Ray I need you to take a deep breath in and then when I count to three blow out _really_ hard, one…two…three'

Ray was coughing on the bed and gratefully sucked on the straw that was raised to his lips by his mother, the cooling water soothing his aching throat.

'What happened?' Asked Ray in a voice that was so quiet and rough the doctor had to lean down to hear him.

'You had a blood clot in your brain, but we took it out last night and you should be fine now…your one lucky young man.'

After giving Ray another quick check, he left again, wanting to give Ray the rest that he greatly needed.

Ray turned to look at his mother, and felt guilt and shame wash over him at the thought of what she must have went through on the plane down.

'I'm sorry mama' Ray said quietly as a tear ran down his cheek and he felt his mother instantly wrapped her arms around his weakened body, careful not to hurt him. And as she ran her hand gently up and down his back she whispered into his ear,

'Its O.K baby…I'll get you through this'

* * *

Kerry Weaver had been asleep when she had gotten the phone call telling her that Ray was awake and as she made her way down the all familiar corridor she stopped at the room with the number '4' on the front. Pushing the handle down Kerry walked in and saw that Ray was sitting up in the bed, his mother still holding his hand protectively.

As soon as Ray had heard the door open he had looked up and offered his aunt a weak smile, wishing that he could take back the last few days and start over…or at least not go to the party. But he knew that he couldn't so he would probably just have to settle with flattery over the next million years to win back his aunts respect again.

'Hi Ray, so how do you feel?' Kerry said as she walked over and gave Ray a peck on the cheek before settling herself into the chair beside his mother.

Ray just gave a small nod, instantly regretting it as he felt a pain rip through his skull, _smart move there Ray, I mean it not like they hacked your head open last night_

Kerry opened her mouth to speak when Karen cut her off as she said,

'Ray, sweetie, we need to talk about what happened'

* * *

**A/N Please, please review and let me know what you think!**


	7. An Ultimatum

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

I am going to be adding Neela in as a friend, a sort of REELA friendship, what do you think?

* * *

**CHAPTER ****SEVEN: An Ultimatum **

Ray was sitting in the bed, trying to think what he could possibly say to try and make his actions justified. But he knew that there was none, what he had done was selfish and stupid, he had hurt his family and he would never forgive himself for that.

'I'm sorry Aunt Kerry…I didn't mean' Ray was cut off as Kerry gave him a look telling him not even to finish that sentence, that no amount of 'I'm Sorry' would make up for what he had put them through.

'I don't what to here your excuses Ray, I just want you to listen and then you have to make a choice', Kerry paused, making sure that Ray was actually taking in what she was saying, 'You have two choices to make Ray, and once you make it there is no going back. Me and your mother have already discussed this on the phone and we feel that this is the best way to help you right now'

Ray nodded his head slightly to show that he was listening, but in truth he wasn't sure if he liked where this was going.

'You can either stay here with me and I'll get you into a rehab course here at county or' and this time it was Ray who cut Kerry off by saying,

'What! I don't want to go to one of those…I'm not some sort of drug addict, mama tell her' Ray turned his head to look at his mother, hoping that maybe she would back him up and tell Kerry that he didn't need to go into rehab, that he would be fine on his own.

But Ray was shocked when his mother began to slowly shake her head and said,

'No Ray, you can either go to the rehab, or I can't let you stay with me…I can't have you doing that in my house'

Karen knew that what she was saying was harsh, but she was going by the old saying, 'sometimes tough love is the best love', and she kept telling herself that she was doing this to make her son better.

Ray looked at his mother, tears in his eyes as he thought about what she was saying,

'So if I don't do what you say…your gonna throw me out' Ray said through the lump in his throat.

Kerry took this as her signal to intervene and tell Ray _exactly_ why they were giving him this choice.

'The thing is Ray, your mother and I both love you very much and we want what's best for you. But if you aren't going to help yourself then we can't help you either'

Kerry watched the look of sadness that crossed her nephews face and felt that she had gotten through to him.

'Well, if you think so little of me that you want to stuff me into rehab like one of the junkies you find on the street…then forget it, I don't need your help' Ray said as his eyes bore into Kerry and then his mother, a look of distain emanating from them.

Kerry couldn't believe what she had just heard; Ray was actually telling them that he didn't want their help. This wasn't going as she had hoped. She had wanted him to feel that he had no other choice than to do what they suggested, yes, but she didn't want him feeling like they were abandoning him.

'Ray, that's not what we think of you'

Ray rolled turned his head to look out the window, not wanting to look at Kerry anymore,

'Yes it is, so why don't you both just leave me alone…I don't _need _your help, and I certainly _don't _want it.'

Karen opened her mouth to protest and scold her son for being so rude, but stopped when she seen the look in Kerry's eyes as she motioned for her to leave the room.

* * *

Once they had gotten outside Kerry pulled Karen over to the chairs and sat her down,

'I think that we just have to give him some time to cool off. He's just upset and feels like we're abandoning him, so I think that the best thing to do now is give him the space that he needs to clear his head and realise that he wants us to help him and then we'll concentrate on doing just that.'

Karen nodded her head in agreement, knowing that her son could sometimes be stubborn, but he could also be very wise for such a young age, and Karen just hoped that maybe this time his brain would override his stubbornness.

* * *

Still lying in the bed Ray still couldn't believe what had just happened, _they actually think that little of me…I mean I know what I did was stupid and wrong but I'm __**not **__a bleedin' drug addict!_

Ray lifted his head when he heard the door open, expecting it to be either his mother or his aunt, but was surprised when he saw that it was neither. Instead it was a petite, young doctor, no more than three or fours years older than him, who looked like she may be Indian, with dark black hair and tan skin.

'Good Morning, Mr…Barnett' said the young woman as she scanned down the front of his chart, 'I'm Dr. Neela Rasgotra and I'm just here to give you a quick check up.'

Ray watched as the young woman set down the chart and pulled her stethoscope from around her neck, and placed it over his chest,

'Deep breathe please' said Dr. Rasgotra, as she listened to Rays lungs, moving the stethoscope over Ray's chest and back. When she spoke Ray had noticed than she was British and couldn't help but give a small smile, he had always liked girls with accents.

Straitening up Neela placed her stethoscope back around her neck and turned wrote something down on her chart as she said,

'Well there are still some crackles, but with the antibiotics that should all be gone within a couple of days Mr. Barnett.'

Ray smiled at the doctor and noticed her blush slightly.

'Call me Ray' Ray never liked to be called Mr. Barnett, it always made him feel ten years older than he actually was, and so he always got people just to call him by his first name.

'O.K, Ray it is.' Neela said as she shone the light in Ray's eyes, checking his neurological function.

'Well everything seems to be fine, I'll just go and tell my attending and be back to check on you in a bit…oh, do you need anything for pain?' Neela asked as an after thought, completely forgetting.

'No thanks, I can manage for now' Ray said as he gave another one of his brilliant smiles as Neela left the wrong.

* * *

Walking out the door, medical student Neela Rasgotra felt herself collide with something and turned to see that it was in fact her friend, Nurse Abby Lockhart.

'Hey, watch it there' Abby joked as she patted Neela on the back.

'So what you doing up here then Neela, on the prowl?' Abby joked as she seen her friends face flush.

'What! No I was just up doing some check ups on the patient. Actually that guy I was just checking was really sweet, not like the rest of the ones up here today'

Abby nodded her head and quickly looked through the pane of glass on the door of the room which Neela had just left, and she gasped in surprise, this would be fun.

'Yeah…he's pretty cute, maybe a bit young for me, but you maybe not' Abby watched as Neela shook her head and laughed.

'He's like four years younger than me…but you are right he is cute' Neela giggled feeling like a school girl.

Not able to contain herself anymore Abby turned to Neela and said,

'And he's also Kerry Weavers nephew' before walking off down the hall laughing, leaving a confused Neela.

* * *

After Ray had gotten checked over he had been sitting and thinking again. He knew that the social worker was going to be coming to talk to him soon and was going to try and talk him into going into rehab, just like his mother and aunt, and he didn't want to have to sit there for one bit of it.

Swinging his legs over to the side of the bed, Ray stood, feeling a little shaky but soon finding his balance, and made his way over to the bag of clothes that Kerry had brought with her earlier. Remembering that he still had I.V's in his arm Ray grabbed a pile of tissue and wadded it up against his arm as he pulled the needle from the vein and put pressure on the small wound to stop the bleeding.

Rummaging through the bag Ray pulled out a t-shirt, hoodie, a pair of jeans and a hat, knowing that he would look a bit suspicious if he was to walk down the street with a bandage around his head.

Ray lifted all of the clothes and went to the bathroom, stripping from the gown as he pulled on the clothes quickly and pulled the cap on his head, making sure not to cause himself any discomfort. Checking himself in the mirror to make sure that none of the bandage was visible, and when he was satisfied that it wasn't Ray opened the bathroom door and entered back into the main room.

Going over to the door, Ray glanced around and made sure that nobody was around before he began to quickly make his way down the hall and into the elevator.

* * *

Neela Rasgotra had just finished her rounds when she made her way back to Ray's room. She had found earlier that he was the only one of this floor of the ICU that was actually awake _and _in the mood for talking. And so she decided that maybe she would kill some time and get to know him a little better, even if he was Kerry Weavers nephew, he didn't seem to be like her.

Pushing the door opening Neela noticed the empty bed and wondered if maybe he was in the bathroom, but then she noticed that the I.V was still sitting beside the bed and suddenly it all clicked.

Turning on her heel Neela ran out the door of the room and was making her way to the reception to call security when she saw Kerry Weaver approaching. Running up to her Neela didn't give her time to ask her what was going on as she blurted out,

'He's gone!'

* * *

**Well I hope that you liked this chapter…and the addition of Neela. Now wasn't Ray a bad boy running off like that, I hope that he doesn't get into any trouble…or do I?**

**Well please review and let me know what you think!**


	8. On My Own

**Title: **The Doctor and The Rocker

**Author: **DockRock06

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Spoilers: **none

**Content Warning: **Bad language, drug references.

**Summery: **What if Ray had been at County before? And what happened during that time in which he was staying with none other than Kerry Weaver?

Italics represent thoughts

* * *

**CHAPTER ****EIGHT: On My Own**

As Ray stepped out the back doors to County he immediately felt the cold air hit him, and wrapped his arms around himself in order to try and warm up, not that it really made much of a difference. Walking quickly Ray made his way past the security guards, feeling his heart thundering in his chest at one million beats a minute in case they were notified that he had left and were waiting on him.

As Ray passed with not even as little as a glance in his direction from either security guard he let out the breath which he had been holding and watched as it swirled in front of him in the cold Chicago air. As Ray walked on he began to wonder where exactly it was he was going to go. It wasn't like he had any money with him so he couldn't stay in a motel, and he didn't really know his way around the city that well anyway so it would be a very small chance that he would stumble across one soon anyway.

Suddenly Ray remembered that Brett lived only a few blocks away from the hospital, and hoping that his friend would let him stay with him for a while until he sorted himself out, Ray began to pace in the direction of Brett's apartment.

* * *

'He's gone! What do you mean he's gone…gone where?' Asked a worried and slightly angry Kerry Weaver as she stared at the scared face of the med student.

'I went back to check on him and his I.V was taken out' Neela said, a slight quaver in her voice. She was hated getting yelled at when she was at school…and Kerry Weaver was like all of those teachers rolled up into one.

'I'll go and tell security' said Neela as she walked over to the admit and lifted the phone to inform the security what was going on.

Kerry walked into the room and over to Ray's bag of clothes, suspicious that he may have taken some things with him. And as she walked closer she seen that she was right, as the some of the clothes where now missing but searching through more she seen that he had not lifted his wallet, obviously in a hurry in case somebody came in and caught in.

'Well, he hasn't got any money with him so he'll probably be staying with a friend' Kerry said as she turned to look at her sister, who had tears in her eyes.

'My poor baby, I knew that we shouldn't have pushed him…what will happen to him now, he could be hurt somewhere or lying on the street, and it's so cold' ranted a obviously very distressed Karen, her fear for son clear.

'He'll be fine Karen. He said earlier when he first came that he had a friend who lived here, Ben'

'Brett' Karen cut in, knowing that he was one of Ray's closest friends in Chicago.

'Yes, Brett, so maybe we can see where he lives and go and see if Ray is there'

Kerry watched as a slight smile crossed over Karen's face, she had obviously forgot all about Ray's friends, and even though they were the ones who had help get him into this mess, Karen was certain that Brett would do anything to help Ray, and giving him somewhere to stay seemed a very likely thing to do.

* * *

As Ray walked through the cold streets of Chicago he felt himself begin to shiver and hoped that he would be at Brett's place soon. Ray also began to notice the constant ache that had developed in his head not ten minutes after he had left the hospital. With every step that he took Ray felt a pounding in his skull, and also a nauseous feeling in his stomach.

Ray breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Brett's apartment building come into view, and even thought it did look a little run down, he was certain that it was better than having to rough it on the streets.

Walking up to the front of the building Rays quickly scanned the buzzers and pushed the one beside the grubby sticker which read, _Brett Michaels,_ and hoped that his friend was in fact in and not out somewhere.

'Yup, who's there?' And Ray smiled as he heard his friend's voice,

'It's me, Ray, can you buzz me up?' And as soon as Ray had finished the last word he heard the annoying sound that apartment buzzers often made and he pushed open the door and began to climb the stairs to Brett's apartment.

As soon as Ray had reached the top of the building, which also annoyingly happened to be the floor which Brett lived on, Ray had to grab at the handrail to keep himself steady as he felt his vision begin to sway and blur in front of him. After closing his eyes for a few moments Ray walked forward and knocked on Brett's door, and he was surprised when Brett opened it and pulled him into a quick hug before saying,

'I'm glad you're alright man, come on in'

Ray walked in past Ray and sat on the chair beside Brett, who was looking at him with a strange expression, some of his face covered by his long hair.

'I need a favour'

* * *

Neela came walking back into the room which Kerry and Karen where in, the one which Ray _had_ been in before he had decided to do a runner.

'Well I have some news' said Neela as she entered the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed, opposite both Kerry and Karen, 'security said that they seen a guy who matched Rays description leave a little while ago, just a bit before we reported him missing'

Neela didn't miss the look that crossed Kerry Weavers face when she said _we_ instead of _you_, but she couldn't help but feel that she was apart of this. She had grown to like him over the small time that she had spent with him, and she didn't know why, but there was just something about him that made Neela think that maybe he was a lot better than people thought he was, and she wanted to make sure that he would be alright and that nothing bad had happened to him.

'Thank you Neela. I'll let you know if we hear anything' said Kerry and she watched the slight blush that crept over the Indian doctors face as she nodded her head before leaving.

'I'm going to phone Brett's mother and see if she can give me an address of where he is staying. Then I'm going to go round there and tell Ray that I _will _help him' Karen said as she got up and left the room in search of a phone.

* * *

'They said what! They actually called you a drug addict?' Brett said after hearing the story of what had gone on at the hospital, the reason why Ray was sitting in his dingy little apartment now.

'Well not really, but they sort of implied it. I mean they want to go to a fucking rehab clinic!' Ray said before he took a drink from his beer, even though he knew that it was stupid to mix alcohol and drugs like the ones he had been given at the hospital, he really didn't care at the moment because he was angry and needed something to take away the throbbing in his skull, and the beer was doing just the trick.

'Well, you can stay here man and do whatever you want…smoke weed, take crack' Brett joked, wanting his friend to know that he didn't judge him or think that he was some sort of junkie.

Ray laughed back before saying,

'Sure, but right now I think that I just need another beer!'

* * *

**A/N O.K, chapters not that long, but I hoped that you liked and please tell me what you think, good or bad.**


	9. Worried About Ray

**Sorry for not updating in ages, but I had no idea what I wanted in this chapter…but now I do and I am giving it to you! Hope that you aren't disappointed! And I also want to say to those who read any of my other stories; I will also be updating them **_**all **_**shortly! **

**I got all of my 'knowledge' on Heroin and the withdrawal off of medical websites, so it should be pretty accurate.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Worried About Ray**

* * *

****

It was the next day, and Karen had spent most of the night worrying about Ray. She hadn't been able to reach Brett's mother, and Kerry had told her to leave it until tomorrow because Ray, as she had put it, '_was a big boy'_. Needless to say, that comment had sparked an argument between the two sisters, the younger blaming her elder sister for the reason she had no idea where her son was, or if he was O.K. They had apologized soon after and went to bed, but neither had been able to sleep, and that was why they were both sitting in the kitchen at 6.45am on a Saturday morning.

'I think that I should try Brett's mother again.' Karen stated, breaking the silence which had enveloped the small apartment.

'Give it another half hour Karen, it's too early' Kerry said as she took a long drink from her coffee, trying to keep herself awake.

Standing from her seat, Karen marched over to the phone and lifted it to her ear as she said,

'No Kerry, he's my baby and I _need _to help him. So I don't think five minutes to give me her sons' number and address will really matter, considering the circumstances!'

Kerry didn't argue back, not wanting to upset her sister any more. She had lain awake all night worrying about her nephew too, not being able to get Karen's words out of her head, '_this was your fault! You pushed him away!'_

Kerry watched the smile cover her sister's face as she scribbled something down on the notepad beside the phone, repeating the words 'Thank you' over and over again. She didn't even realise that she had an identical expression on her own face.

'He doesn't live too far away. And his mother said it would be best to just go round. Brett would tell Ray and try to get him to leave if he knew we were coming. No doubt Ray has told him our little ultimatum.' Karen rushed out as she walked over to the closest and pulled out a pile of towels before making her way into the bathroom.

* * *

Brett walked out of his bedroom, the sound of cars and people fighting on the streets keeping him from sleep. He hated the neighbourhood for the lone fact that it had him up before the rooster most mornings, something someone with his lifestyle really didn't like.

Making his way to the kitchen to get some breakfast, he glanced over to the couch where his friend lay. Ray was lying on his side, the blanket which was covering his wrapped around him like a cocoon. His face was set in an expression of worry.

Brett saw the image of Ray lying on the ground at the party flash before his eyes, gone as quickly as it had come. But even that brief second was enough to make Brett wonder if what he was doing was right. Was he really helping Ray, or did he just not want to admit that there could be a problem. Deciding that it was too early, and he was too hungry, Brett made his way into the kitchen and began to search for something to eat.

Ray was awoke by the sound of banging around, and felt the thundering in his head at every bang and crash. Wincing, he pulled his hand from under the cover and placed it gingerly to his head as he placed his feet on the floor.

'Morning, beautiful' Brett joked, blowing a kiss at Ray before taking another bite of his sugar coated cereal and sitting beside Ray on the couch.

'You too' Ray replied, moistening his lips, noticing that they were very dry, just like his throat.

Standing up, Ray made his way to the kitchen and took a large drink of water, enjoying the cooling sensation on his dry lips and throat. Rinsing the glass and setting it in the drainer. Walking back into the couch Ray sat down beside Brett, his stomach growing nauseous, for a reason he didn't know.

Laying his head back and closing his eyes, Ray fought back the feeling, hoping that it would pass soon. He was interrupted from his efforts though when he felt his stomach churn, his hands beginning to shake, and he jumped from the sofa, earning a startled, 'What the hell?', from Brett who was busy watching the cartoons on TV.

Dropping to his knees in front of the toilet, Ray retched, feeling his stomach contents leaving him, and sat breathing deep breathes when he was done.

'Are you O.K man?' Asked a worried Brett, who edged his way into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bath and watched as Ray moved to sit with his back against the wall. He also noticed that Ray was visibly shaking all over, and even though he wasn't a doctor, he wasn't stupid and he was sure he knew why Ray was shaking and being sick.

Just as Ray opened his mouth to answer, the sound of someone knocking at the door was heard, and Brett quickly got up and went to the door, wondering who would be calling at such an early hour.

Brett opened and the door and was shocked to say the least, when he realised that he was standing face to face with his best friends mother, whom, he noted, didn't look very happy to see him.

'Hello Brett, where's Ray?' Karen asked, not bothering to waste her time with small talk. She had come to see her son and that was what she was going to do.

Indicating with his thumb, Brett answered,

'In the bathroom…I think he's sick' Brett added as an after thought. He knew that Ray might be mad at him for a while for just selling him out like that, but he was worried about his friend and after the night at the party he wasn't going to stand by and wait to watch that happen again, maybe with a worse outcome.

Walking over to the door, Karen pushed it open and walked over to where Ray was still sat on the floor. Sitting on the closed lid of the toilet she placed her hand on his forehead, feeling the heat coming off him even though he was trembling a great deal.

Rays' head was resting on Karens knee as she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him and calm the shaking, but having no success, the shaking just increasing. She knew that she should probably phone Kerry, but she had just gone to work and had missed half of her shift the day before, so she decided that it was best if she just took Ray back to the apartment and wait phone Kerry and tell her what was wrong.

Standing, Karen reached down and locked her hand around Ray's bicep, and he stood beside her, his eyelids drooping shut. Karen quickly wrapped her arm around her son's waist and he lost his balance slightly, and was alarmed at how thin he felt. She felt tears well up in her eyes that she hadn't noticed something was wrong before it ever got this far.

Brett came out of his room just as Karen and Ray where making there way to the door, the latter looking very uneasy on his feet.

'You are leaving?' Brett said, walking to stand beside Karen.

'Yes, because he needs help and I don't think sitting in an apartment and pumping his veins full of heroin is the way to do it!' Karen yelled, her temper getting the better of her. She didn't usually shout, but she was angry at _herself _for not noticing that something was wrong and was now taking it out on Brett.

Without saying another word, Ray and Karen left, leaving a worried Brett behind.

* * *

Karen pushed open the door to the apartment and guided Ray to the couch, and walked to the kitchen to get him a drink of water. She had noticed that he had stopped shaking for a while in the cab on the way over, only to get incredibly warm and flushed looking. But now he was back to shaking again, his face a mask of exhaustion and pain.

Walking to sit on the coffee table in front of him, Karen held the cup out to Ray, who took it in trembling hands, and took grateful sips of it. Handing the glass back to his mother, Ray lay down on the couch, curled up to try and keep his body warm, and winced when he felt his aching muscles protest the movement. Ray closed his eyes when he felt his mother running her fingers through his hair, and he tried his best to stop his body from shaking, his effort worthless.

Standing up, Karen pulled of Rays shoes before placing the thick, woollen blanket which was lying over the back of the couch on top of him and made her way over to the phone.

Karen picked up the phone and dialled the number which Kerry had written on the notepad, her eyes never leaving Ray, watching as his body would randomly give a large shake before settling back to the smaller, constant trembling.

'Hello, Cook County General, how can I help you?' Said the voice on the other end.

'I was wondering if I could speak to Kerry Weaver. It's her sister, Karen' Karen replied and waited while the receptionist put her through to another line,

'Hello, Karen, is everything alright?' Asked the worried voice of Kerry Weaver. She had told Karen only to phone her if she had any problems, and Kerry hadn't been gone that long and was scared at what could have happened.

'Well, I don't really know. I went and got Ray and I think he's sick. He won't stop shaking' Karen said as she looked over at her son with a sad expression.

'Is he warm, or complaining of being sore?' Kerry asked on the other end.

Walking over with the phone in her hand, Karen placed a hand on Rays forehead and felt the slight heat coming off him.

'Well, he is a bit' Karen said as she took a seat on the chair beside Ray, her hand resting on his back, running up and down gently.

'Well, I know that I might get in trouble, but this is a family emergency so I don't care. I'll be home in about twenty minutes' Kerry told her sister before hanging up, knowing that if she explained to Mark what was wrong then he would cover for her. Besides, the ER had been quiet all day.

* * *

**Sorry for the not so long update...but please review and let me know what you thought! I already have the next chapter ready and some lovely review would push me into putting it up sooner!...so Go On!**


	10. Accepting Your Help

**I got all of my 'knowledge' on Heroin and the withdrawal off of medical websites, so it should be pretty accurate.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Accepting Your Help**

* * *

****

Kerry Weaver had been in a panic all the way home on the L-Train, not knowing what to expect. All of the symptoms which her sisters had described to her, briefly as they were, all pointed to one thing, withdrawal. And she knew how dangerous that could be. It Ray wasn't eating properly; and the truth was she wasn't actually certain if he was, not having ate any of their meals together since he had been there, that the withdrawal could potentially be fatal. She just prayed that it wouldn't come to that.

Seeing that it was her stop, Kerry got off her seat and began to make her trek back to her apartment, hoping that maybe she was just overacting and that Ray was in fact fine. Of course, her inner mantra of '_please let me be wrong' _proved futile as she entered the door of her apartment, to find a shaking and pale Ray, curled up on the couch and looking terrible.

Walking over to the couch, Kerry immediately put her hand on his forehead, shocked when she felt the heat that was radiating from his body.

'Have you given him anything?' Kerry asked Karen as she walked to the kitchen to get another glass of water and remover her coat and gloves.

'No, I didn't know what to do, so I just waited until you got here' answered Karen, her fear visible to Kerry through her shaking voice.

'Well, that's good. Because I think that it is withdrawal from the drugs, and giving him more would just make this problem worse' Kerry answered, matter-of-factly.

Walking over to Ray, Kerry placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling the trembling, and gently shook him as she said,

'Ray, sweetie, I need for you to sit up for a moment' Kerry said in a gentle voice, so unlike her normal sergeant drill tone, the one she reserved for work. But this was family, and she was going to do anything and everything she could to help.

Ray slowly opened his eyes, the lids heavy and pushed himself up on aching forearms into a sitting position on the couch like asked. Karen was quickly sitting in the empty seat beside Ray, to his left, with his hand in hers, and her other hand stroking his warm forehead.

Kerry walked over from the kitchen with a thermometer in her hand and sat on the other side of Ray, and held it out to him as she said,

'Put this in your mouth so we can see what temperature you are, and then you can go and lie down.'

Ray did as was asked and after a few minutes the sound of a couple of '_beeps_' filled the room, and Ray handed the thermometer to Kerry with quaking hands.

'102.0' Kerry read aloud, the high temperature doing nothing to dampen her fears and worry for her nephew.

Ray was slouched down in his seat, trying to find a way to get comfortable with his aching muscles, and the chills that were constantly racking through his body, causing him to shiver more violently than before. His uncomfortable position was soon added to by the fact that his nose kept running, and although he had no idea why, he was definite that it was annoying the hell out of him even further. Much like the fact that his mother and aunt were treating what he thought was a simple case of the flu like he was a breakable toy.

Kerry got up and went to the fridge and poured a pitcher of ice cold water, knowing that it was one of the best ways to get Rays temperature down. She also lifted a box of tissues when she saw him keep sniffing and wiping at his nose with the tissues, a side affect of the withdrawal.

'You should drink this and then take of your sweatshirt and lie down. You need to get that temperature down' Kerry said as she handed the glass to her nephew and smiled as he gazed up at her with sleepy eyes, reminding her of the little boy who she used to look after when he was sick, always begging to go outside for '_just ten more minutes'_

Taking the offered glass, Ray brought it to his lips, and took a gulp. He instantly felt his throat fell as if it was being gripped by an ice hand, the water freezing as it made its way down. He took another mouthful as he watched the insistent gaze of his aunt, and eventually he was finished the glass. With his throat aching, Ray stood on slightly shaky legs and made his way to the room he was staying in.

Closing the door, Ray did as he was told and pulled his hoodie off, instantly feeling the chill. Pulling off his jeans and putting on a pair of more comfortable sweats, Ray lifted the sheets and crawled under, pulling them up to his chin, the blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon.

* * *

Outside in the living room, Kerry was sitting on the couch, Karen sitting beside her, neither knowing what to say. Breaking the silence, Kerry said in a hushed voice,

'I think that we should suggest the rehab programme again, since he sees now that it isn't going to be easy. Maybe now he will accept out help'

Looking at the door of Ray's room, and then back at her sister, Karen said,

'I think that is the best we can do. But let him rest for a bit.'

Getting up and going to the kitchen to begin making lunch, since her nor Karen had eaten, Kerry said,

'I'll talk to him if you want?' Kerry stated it as more of a question, not wanting to seem imposing.

Getting up and following her sister, Karen pulled Kerry into a hug and whispered in her ear in a choked voice,

'I don't know where I'd be without you'

* * *

It was later that evening and Ray woke up, feeling rather cold. As he moved to sit up and get another blanket, he stopped when he saw a figure in the room, not certain whether it was his mother or aunt, the silhouette the only thing he could make out in the dark through his sleep laden eyes.

'Sorry, did I wake you' and Ray knew that it was his aunt.

Shaking his head, although he wasn't sure if she could see or not, Ray replied,

'No, I was cold…was going to get another blanket'

Before he could even move to swing his feet over to the side of the bed, Kerry grabbed a comforter from the foot of the bed and placed it over Ray, and sat down on the space beside him.

Reaching behind him, Kerry turned on the lamp, the lighting not so bright as to hurt Rays eyes, as they quickly adjusted to the change.

'Ray, we need to talk'

Pushing himself up on one arm, the blanket still covering him, Ray nodded for her to continue.

'Your mother and I were thinking that it would be good for you if you gave the rehab a chance. We want to help you, but we also know that you need a chance to do this on your own. You could get that doing the rehab.'

Pausing, Kerry waited for some sort of reaction from Ray, and to be honest she was expecting one similar to that in the hospital. However, she was surprised when he just looked at her with glistening eyes, and she wasn't certain, but she swore they were tears.

'If you did go, then it would be a three week programme, here in Chicago. Once you were done you would stay with me for a little while until you got off your feet again and then you could go back home…and be a good boy' Kerry added the last part with a smile, trying to lighten the mood in the room.

Drinking in what she had said, Ray knew that he had no other choice than to accept. He had put his mother and aunt through hell, and for what! A meaningless fix of something that had killed so many people. He felt ashamed of himself for what he had done; and even though he tired to fight the pool of tears that were brimming in his eyes, determined that he wasn't going to make an idiot of himself, Ray closed his eyes and he felt the first salty tears slid down his cheeks, the air hitting them and making him feel even colder.

Seeing her nephew looking so helpless and broken, Kerry did the only thing she could think of, _comfort him_. And so, wrapping her arms around him, Kerry pulled him into a tight embrace, still feeling the trembling, and ran her hand up and down his back as she rocked back and forth, hearing him say 'I'm sorry' into her shoulder, and she actually believed him.

* * *

**Well, I hope that you all liked this chapter…and please review to let me know what you thought! Good…bad…ugly!**

* * *


	11. Crawling

**Sorry for not updating in ages, but now I have the bug, the writing bug that is, and I want to continue with this story. ****I also just watched **_**Trainspotting**_**, and as it deals with Heroin, and part of it shows the withdrawals…although not much, I think that's what made me want to write more of this story.**

**I also want to take the chance to mention about my new Shane West forum. If you are interested, please visit my profile and follow the link there.**

**O.K, now that the self promotion is over, on with the story. **

**Also the song in this chapter is Linkin Parks 'Crawling'**

* * *

**Chapter 11 – ****Crawling**

* * *

It was only about twenty minutes after Kerry had left and Ray was lying in the dark of the room again. He was tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position to lie in now that he had begun to feel a pain in his stomach like nothing else. Twisting and turning, the blanket which had been covering him were falling off the bed, the corner the only part still on him. He also noticed that he had returned to feel like ice, although in reality he was burning up, sweat beaded along his brow.

Curled up on the bed Ray couldn't stop the low moan that escaped his throat, which was still dry and sore, making his moan sound more like a pained cry, which it could have very well been. Pushing himself up on his elbows, Ray swore that he had seen something move along the floor, just at the end of his bed in the dark. Moving onto his knees so that he was now crawling on the bed, Ray sat perched on the edge, gazing down into the sea of darkness at the end of the bed, his eyes not seeing anything, but his heart racing in his chest, waiting for something to jump out of the dark at him.

Twisting his legs underneath him so that one foot was under his bum and one foot was dangling off the edge of the bed, not exactly touching the floor but close, Ray was about to lean forward, certain that he had seen something, when all of a sudden a flood of light parted the darkness and Ray saw that there was nothing on the floor.

Turning his head towards the door, Ray seen that it was his Aunt Kerry whom had come back to check on him. She had in her free hand another jug of cool water, to help with the fever.

Walking over to the table beside the bed, Kerry set the jug down and turned the lamp on so that she could see better. And when she did, she was alarmed to see a pale, sweaty Ray. He had been fine when she had left about thirty minutes ago, and now he looked as if he was death warmed up.

Walking over to him, Kerry placed her hand on his forehead, instantly feeling the heat that was radiating from beneath, and walked over to the table where she had left a washcloth, and soaked it with the cool liquid before returning to Rays side and placing it on his forehead.

'There was something in here…I saw it' Ray said in a horse whisper, and Kerry instantly felt her heart skip a beat.

'What was in here?' Kerry asked as she sat on the bed beside Ray, his head resting on her shoulder as he felt himself growing sleepy once again. Shrugging his shoulders, Ray closed his eyes as he said,

'I don't know…I just' Ray trailed off, not really knowing how to explain what he saw, or at least, what he_ thought_ the saw.

After hearing his answer, Kerry knew that it was just the fever making him see things, and although that meant it wasn't breaking, she was just glad that nothing _was_ in her home.

Standing up, Kerry put her hand to Rays forehead once again, and although it had cooled considerably, and she knew that he just needed to keep drinking the water and he would soon get his temperature right down. Once that was sorted they could deal with all of the arrangements for the rehab clinic and where he was going to stay.

Standing up, Ray made his way back to the top of the bed and, picking the covers up, lay back down on the bed. Closing his eyes, Ray felt Kerry place a gentle kiss on his cheek, and within moments, he was surrounded by his dreams, and away from all of his troubles and worries.

* * *

The next morning Ray woke up, the blanket wrapped tightly around him this time, and glanced over at the clock to see that it was actually ten thirty in the morning. Pushing himself up, Ray swung his legs to the side up the bed and stood up, making his way to the door as he ran a shaky hand through his dishevelled hair, to no avail.

Stepping into the living room, Ray instantly felt the cool air hit him, and wrapped his arms across his chest in order to keep some of the heat in his body in.

'Oh, good morning Ray' Kerry said as she saw Ray walk out of his room, looking a little worse for wear, but still better than he had done the day before. Walking over to him, Kerry placed her hand on his forehead, and although he was still a little warm, she wasn't as worried as she had been the night before.

Clearing his throat, more out of nerves than anything, Ray asked,

'So where's mom, she up yet?'

Sitting on the couch, Ray watched as Kerry made her way about the kitchen, the serious concentration on her face as she made toast and coffee almost laughable.

'She went out for a walk to clear her head. But when she comes back, she and I need to have a _serious_ talk with you' and as Kerry said the last part, she paused in her motions and turned her head to look at Ray, silently saying, _and there's no way you're backing out of this one mister._

Nodding his head, Ray pulled the blanket from the back off the sofa and pulled it around himself, instantly feeling warmer. Closing his eyes, Ray was about to fall asleep until he felt a hand on his shoulder and the smell of coffee under his nose, making him want to be sick, but pushing the feeling down.

'Here, you need to eat something. You're all skin and bones' Kerry said as she set the plate of toast and cup of coffee on the small coffee table in front of Ray. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, Ray picked up the coffee and took a small sip, although that was enough to make him actually feel himself going pale.

* * *

It was a half hour later and Kerry was sitting at the dinning table reading the newspaper and Ray was in the bathroom getting a shower. Karen opened the door and went and sat down beside her sister, who set her newspaper down and looked at Karen with a serious face before saying,

'We need to talk to him Karen, and he has to get help' Kerry said it blatant, not wanting to skirt around the subjects anymore than they already had. That was how they had ended up in this mess anyway, by not telling Ray that he had to get help. He was sick and was in no way capable of making a decision like this on his own, he needed his family there to support him and they were.

'I know, he needs to know what he has to do or else he isn't going to get any better' Karen said, wanting what was best for her son.

Just as Karen had finished speaking, Ray stepped out of the bathroom, his hair still damp and hanging down around his temples, and wearing a sweatshirt, a pair of sweats and thick socks. The shower had helped him feel fresher, but it had done nothing for the chill that he had.

'Hey mama' Ray said as he walked over and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, before sitting down in the other vacant seat.

Putting her hand over her sons, her gloved hand warming his, Karen started,

'Listen Ray, your Aunt Kerry and I have discussed this a lot and we have come to the decision that it would be best if you went to a rehab programme here in Chicago and stayed with her for a while until you're better'

Karen watched Rays face for a sign of a reaction, worried in case he blew up like he did in the hospital, but instead he just nodded his head, which surprised both sisters, and said

'I know…I put you two both through a lot and I'll do whatever you say' and Ray meant it. He felt so guilty for how he had been so flippant about the whole situation, not thinking about who he was hurting, just as long as he got high. But now things were going to change, and Ray was going to make sure of it.

'O.K, that's it settled then, I'll call the clinic and make the arrangements.' Kerry said as she got up off her seat and made her way to the phone.

Lifting his mothers hand in his own, Ray looked straight into her eyes as he said,

'I'm sorry for all this mama and I promise that I'll make it up to you' and Karen could see the love and sincerity reflected in her sons eyes, making her want to hold him and never let go. Instead, she pulled him into a deep hug, and whispered in his ear,

'I love you and I know you will' Karen said as she held onto her son. Pulling back Karen watched as Kerry put the phone down and made her way back to the table as she said,

'Well, they said that they can take you tomorrow, so I said yes because it's best to start as soon as we can' Kerry said as she looked at Ray, who had an obvious look of shock on his face, not quite expecting it all to be happening so soon.

Standing from his seat, Ray began to make his way towards his room as he feebly joked,

'I guess I better get packing then'.

* * *

It was the day that Ray was to be going to the rehab centre and he was up at the scrape of dawn. He hadn't been able to sleep for more than two hours at a time without all types of questions popping into his head. Turning over, Ray closed his eyes again, and soon enough he found sleep again, only to be woken at nine by the sound of banging on his door and his aunt Kerry demanding,

'Come on Ray, out of bed!' at the top of her lungs.

Swinging his legs to the side of the bed, Ray pushed himself up and began to get ready for the day that awaited him.

* * *

Sitting on the EL, Ray and Karen were in silence, neither knowing what to say. Kerry had gone to work, not being able to miss anymore and had trusted that Karen made sure that Ray got to the clinic and was settled in. Ray was staring out the window, watching the city passing him by in a daze, waiting until they would pull up at their destined stop and he would start the lengthy process which he had been told several times '_isn't going to be a walk in the park'_

As the trains brakes squealed, signalling that it had reached where you were going, Ray felt his heart beginning to pound in his chest as he wondered how he was going to do this. He had only been off the drugs one day and he felt terrible, and he wanted, _needed_ a fix so badly. Being in this place for three weeks was going to be a nightmare.

_Crawling in my skin  
these wounds they will not heal  
fear is how I fall  
confusing what is real_

'O.K Ray, this is our stop' Karen said as she stood up from her seat and looked down at her son. His face was pale and was masked with worry. Wrapping her hand around his arm, Karen pulled him up as she repeated,

'Come on Ray, this is our stop'

Standing from his seat, Ray felt his leg going on auto pilot as he followed his mother off the train and down the platform and onto the busy street below.

_there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
consuming/confusing  
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending  
controlling/I can't seem_

_To find myself again  
my walls are closing in  
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before  
so insecure_

Walking along, Ray felt his heart pounding in his chest, blood gushing through his ears. As he felt the craving, wanting for the drug, he felt the small beads of sweat form across his brow. He felt like turning and running. _He couldn't do this; he should have never said he would. _

As he went to turn, Ray felt a hand on his wrist, and looked down into the eyes of his mother, and he swore that he saw anger in them.

'What's wrong Ray?' Karen asked, not wanting to start a scene in public. Kerry had told her that Ray might feel a bit nervous once they had gotten there. They were barley ten feet from the doors and he was about to do another runner, Kerry hadn't warned her about that!

Feeling a lump in his throat, making it difficult to breath, Ray quickly said,

'I can't…I can't do it'

Pulling him over to the seats outside the clinic, Karen pulled Ray so that he was sitting and put her hand on his face as she said,

'Ray you're sick and you need help. I already told you, if you don't give up the drugs then I can't have you in my house. Simple as that' Karen was determined to stay strong, even though she felt her heart breaking at the sad look in her sons eyes.

_Crawling in my skin  
these wounds they will not heal  
fear is how I fall  
confusing what is real_

Standing up, Karen waited until Ray had stood beside her before she made her way to the front door of the clinic. Pushing it open Karen walked in and made her way up to the reception desk and begun to give Rays information as he stood beside her like a scared child, wanting to go home with his mummy and not go to the bad place, and to Karen he was.

As Ray stood beside his mother, his had to use all of his strength not to vomit at the smell of the clinic. It smelt awful to him, and he couldn't tell why. He smelt like hospitals did, maybe a little worse, but that had never bothered him before. It had seemed that since he had stopped shooting heroin everything made him want to be sick.

_discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
distracting/reacting  
against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
it's haunting how I cant seem... _

to find myself again  
my walls are closing in  
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before  
so insecure 

Ray watched as his mother and a tall man, about 6 foot 3, muscular and with graying hair talked. He knew that his mother was going to be leaving soon and he realized how much he didn't want her to go. He wished that he could just go back to the night of the party and not take the stupid drugs, and then he wouldn't be standing there feeling like he wanted to cry just because his mother was leaving him for three weeks.

Karen turned and walked over to Ray, immediately pulling him into a hug and saying,

'You're going to be fine O.K. And I'll see you in a few weeks. I love you'

Karen gave Ray and kiss on the cheek and then she was gone, knowing that she wouldn't be able to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over if she didn't.

The grey haired man surveyed Ray as he and his mother said goodbye. After she had gone he made his way over to Ray and extended his hand as he said,

'Welcome Ray, I'm James and I'm going to be your coach here. That means that I'll be the one monitoring your progress and helping you work through this.'

Ray shook James' hand, although he was quite weary of the man. He was sure that he thought that he was just another junkie, and come to think of it, Ray wasn't so sure that he was wrong anymore.

_Crawling in my skin  
these wounds they will not heal  
fear is how I fall  
confusing, confusing what is real_

Picking up Rays bag, James began to make his way down a long white hall and told Ray to follow. They stopped at desk where a woman who looked like she was in her early forties was sitting behind a desk which was covered in files.

'This is the start of the program Ray. _You_ have to sign _yourself_ in, show that _you_ are doing this for _you_' James put emphasis on the words 'you' and 'yourself', making sure that Ray knew that he had to want to do this for himself too, and not just his mother and aunt.

'O.K…I know, I do' Ray stammered, feeling the trembling starting again. Taking the pen in his hand, Ray signed his name in the various parts of the form before handing it back to the woman behind the desk and following James again.

_Crawling in my skin  
these wounds they will not heal  
fear is how I fall  
confusing, confusing what is real_

When they reached the end of the hall, James and Ray had to go up about five flights of stairs. And the higher that Ray climbed the more nervous he felt himself getting. He could hear people screaming for 'just one more fix', and the thought that he could end up like that sickened him.

Ray followed James for the rest of the way in a daze, concentrating on stopping himself from shaking and the feeling in his core that was telling him to take the drugs. They soon reached a door with 'E52' printed on the front in gold letters.

James pushed the door open to reveal a small room which contained a bed, wardrobe and a small bathroom to the side. There was also a small window on the one wall and that was it.

'You'll be staying here for the next couple of weeks. But right now we have a group session' James said as he set Rays bags on the bed and made his way to the door, obviously expecting Ray to follow.

Crossing his arms across his chest and stuffing his hands in his armpits to conceal the shaking, although not very well as James could see the tell tale signs of the withdrawal clearly.

'Group therapy?' Ray said as he looked at James with a 'hell no' face.

Walking over to Ray and putting a hand on his back, James led Ray out the door as he said,

'Yes, group therapy. We do it every time someone new comes' He said it so matter-of-fact that Ray just wanted to run. He didn't want to have to sit and tell strangers all about who he was and why he did what he did. Right now all he wanted to do was lie down on that bed and curl away from everything.

_there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
consuming, confusing what is real  
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending  
controlling, confusing what is real_

Walking towards the large doors to the conference room, Ray took a deep breath and followed James. The one thought running through his head and reminding him why he was there. _You promised them._

* * *

**Well, I hope that after not updating in ages, that you appreciated that LONG update. BTW, the bit at the start was because people who are on Heroin withdrawal usually have hallucinations, and that was what Ray had. **

**Please review and let me know what you thought, good or bad.**


	12. Why Can't I Just Hide?

**Sorry for not updating this story in ages, but I just couldn't think what to write. But now I have and so I give to you, chapter 12. Also, for some people who may have read this before I changed a few details of the chapter and added a few things in.**

**And thanks to all those who read and reviewed the last chapter!**

**Warning – This chapter features child abuse, so if you are not comfortable, skip this chapter. **

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Why Can't I Just Hide?**

* * *

Ray followed James down the hall, feeling his entire body shaking, not just from the withdrawal, but also from the fear of what was going to happen. He didn't want to go into a room with a dozen other people and share with them things that he wasn't even that sure about himself. Slowing his steps as he felt his stomach lurch, bile rising up his throat and making him want to gag, he bent over slightly as he clutched at his stomach, his eyes squeezed shut. James, who had been walking a few steps in front of Ray, stopped when he didn't hear the sound of his shoes behind him, turned and rushed back to Rays side, placing his hand on his back as he looked down into his face and asked,

"Do you think you're going to be sick?"

Ray opened his eyes and pushed himself back up, leaning against the wall as he took deep breathes before looking at James and shaking his head as he said,

"No, I'm fine, I'll be fine" He hoped that maybe if he convinced himself that he would be then he would, _didn't someone once say that positive thinking worked?_. Feeling like he was about throw up again, Ray thought, _well sorry dude, but you were wrong._

Seeing the pallor of Rays skin, his eyes watery and the fact that he looked like he was about to collapse onto the floor at any moment, James looked at his watch before looking Ray in the eyes and saying,

"Well, I don't think that you are, but we need to get your programme started as soon as possible. So I suggest that you go and throw up and then get back here so that we can. Because when you go into that room, we aren't leaving until we sort a few things out" James didn't mean to sound harsh or like a drill sergeant, but that was how he worked. He was always harder on the new guys that came in, showing them that it wasn't going to be an easy ride.

Pushing himself off the wall, Ray nodded his head as he walked into the bathroom, and was locking the door behind him when it was pushed open again, and he looked at James with a puzzled expression. Seeing this, James said with a blank face, void of any emotion,

"I know this might be uncomfortable for you, but we can't run the risk of you doing anything, and the only way to do that is by watching you…all day"

Ray nodded his head and was about to reply with a verbal answer when his stomach churned and he dropped to his knees, retching into the toilet, throwing up the little food that was in his stomach, but continuing to dry heave for the next ten minutes.

Leaning back against the cool tiles, Ray closed his eyes as his body felt like it had been dipped in ice, shaking uncontrollably, his head aching and his eyes watery. He just wanted to crawl back into bed, in his own home, not this place. Feeling a hand wrap around his bicep and pull him up, Ray opened his eyes and looked at James as he moved him so he was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet seat and handed him a glass of water before crouching down in front of him and asking,

"Feeling better?"

Ray nodded his head, although he didn't really feel that much better, just slightly. James placed the back on his hand on Ray's forehead as he commented, "You're burning up", although Ray felt like his body was made of ice. Pushing himself up, Ray followed James out of the bathroom after rinsing his mouth and down to the room where the group session was to take place. As he walked in, Ray took a seat beside James in the circle of about a dozen other people, some of which where shaking like he was, others not looking nearly as bad. Ray watched as James whispered something to the guy on his left and showed him a clip board before he addressed the whole group with a small smile, saying,

"Everyone, this is Ray and he's going to be staying here over the next few weeks"

Ray looked around at the sea of faces and then back to James, who said to him in a low voice,

"This is the start Ray, it all begins now"

* * *

Ray was lying on his bed in the room that he had been given to stay in staring at the ceiling as he remembered the group session that he had just come from. It had been the most humiliating and uncomfortable thing he had ever done in his life. He had felt like he was some freak on display as they made him sit and talk about himself, although he had held back on a lot of details, not really in the sharing mood. Rolling over so that he was facing the wall, Ray pulled the sleeve of his shirt up, and let his fingers trace the track marks that were there. He felt tears well in his eyes as he thought about how this was how it was going to be for the next three weeks, and was too tired to try and stop them and instead let a few fall down his cheeks and onto the pillow. Hearing someone knocking his door, Ray quickly swiped his hand over his eyes as he sat up and said,

"Come in"

The door opened and the face of James appeared from around the door before he pushed the door open fully and walked in, closing it behind him and sitting in the chair beside Ray's bed. Leaning his elbows on his knees, James looked at Ray with a small smile as he said,

"You did good today Ray, and if you can keep this up, and keep a good attitude about everything, then you should have no problem in beating this"

Ray just nodded his head in response as he crossed his arms loosely over his chest, and looked at James as he spoke.

"Tomorrow you have your first one on one therapy session…but now I need a urine sample to prove that you haven't taken anything" James showed Ray the cup and tossed it to him, watching as the younger man sighed and pushed himself from the bed, walking over to the adjoining bathroom. Standing, he followed and stood at the door, which he made a point of pushing even further open to make sure that it was in fact Rays sample and not something else. He had been fooled like that before by a kid that he thought was alright, and he wasn't going to do it again. It had nearly cost him his career.

After washing his hands, Ray walked out and sat down on the bed as he looked at James and said,

"Therapy…how long will that take?"

Smirking, James looked at Ray as he said,

"Not that you really have anywhere else to be, but about fifty minutes"

Ray gave him a small smile and watched as he left before letting himself fall back into the bed, his hands behind his head as he said quietly to himself,

"I can't believe this is happening"

* * *

It was the next morning and Ray was awoke by a stream of light pouring in through the blinds and onto his face, forcing him to pull the blanket over his head, only to have it tugged away. Without even thinking, still half asleep, Ray moaned,

"Not now Aunt Kerry"

The tugging at the blanket won, and Ray opened his eyes, confused for a brief moment when he was met by the face of a man, who he then remembered to be James, his case worker. All of the events of the last day came flooding back to him, and he pushed himself up as he rubbed the remnants of sleep from his eyes and said to James with a slight blush on his cheeks,

"Sorry, I just forgot where I was for a minute"

James sat down on the edge of the bed as he patted Ray on the leg and said with a smile,

"Its fine…most people are a little disorientated the first morning…I've been called worse, I'll tell you that"

Ray let a small laugh escape his lips as he listened to James. He seemed a lot friendlier today, and Ray wondered if this was going to be the man who was going to be working with him over the next three weeks, or if it was going to be the one he had met the day before. He hoped for the former, as he guessed that a friend would make this experience a lot easier than someone breathing down his neck all day.

"Well I just came to tell you that your therapy session is in thirty minutes, so if you want to grab a shower and something to eat before you go, you better shake a leg" James patted Ray on the shoulder and got up to leave, shutting the door behind him after offering a smile before closing the door.

Pushing the covers down, Ray stood up from the bed and walked into the adjoining bathroom, locking the door behind him. After using the toilet, Ray washed his hands, and as he did he looked up into the mirror and groaned at his reflection. He was pale and had rings under his eyes from the restless nights of sleep he had suffered over the past few nights.

Turning off the water, Ray stripped down and turned on the shower, stepping in when the steam was billowing out, and felt his aching muscles relax as the water flowed down over him. He would have given anything to keep that relaxed feeling, the feeling where nothing was wrong and he had nothing to worry about. But when he thought about where he was, he knew that there was no point in even thinking such a thing, so after quickly washing his body and hair, Ray rinsed off and stepped out of the shower and quickly dried.

Walking into his room, Ray rummaged through the drawers as he looked for clothes to wear, pulling out boxers and socks before grabbing a red t-shirt and a pair of old denim jeans. Pulling them on, Ray was sitting on the bed and finishing tying the laces of his relatively beat up converse when James opened the door and walked in, sitting down beside Ray. Patting him on the shoulder he said,

"You ready kiddo…you haven't had breakfast"

Ray shook his head as he stood up and gave a sheepish look as he said,

"Don't think there's much point really" Referring to the fact that he hadn't been able to keep anything down. James stood up as he said with a tight smile,

"Well, you should at least drink orange juice…something in your stomach. We'll get it on the way there"

Ray was sitting in the therapist's room as he waited for the doctor and James to come back in. James had told him that he was going to sit in on a few of the sessions, and he was starting with this one.

Ray turned his head at the sound of the door opening and watched as James and the other man walked in. James took a seat beside Ray while the other man took a seat in the reclining chair in front of them. He smiled at Ray as he extended his hand and said,

"Hello Ray, I'm Adam Huntley and I'm going to be your therapist here. We'll be having weekly session while you're here, but if you feel you need to talk to me at any other time; I want you to know that my door is always open"

Ray nodded his head as he gave the man, Adam, a small smile, truly believing what he was saying. He seemed like a nice guy, and Ray guessed that he could trust him.

Adam pulled out a pen and his notepad as he leaned back in his chair and looked at Ray as he said,

"So Ray, how would you describe your childhood?"

Ray nervously picked at the nail varnish that was still on his finger nails, even though a majority of it was already chipped off, and said,

"O.K I guess"

Adam looked at him with a raised eyebrow, jotting something down on his paper, things like Rays body language and the fact that his reply was somewhat open ended, as if Ray wasn't so sure. Looking at Ray, Adam said,

"You don't seem so sure about that…did something happen when you were growing up?"

Ray shrugged his shoulders as he looked at James and then Adam as he said,

"My dad left when I was young…I barley seen him when I was growing up…once every few months…it didn't really bother me"

Adam looked at Ray with concern in his eyes as he turned in his seat so that he was facing Ray as he said,

"Why didn't it bother you, didn't you want to see your father…did you not miss him?"

Ray leaned back in the chair slightly as he looked over at James, who was looking at him with the same look that Adam was giving him. Looking back over at Adam he said,

"We just didn't get along that well…so it was pointless going to see him"

Running a hand through his hair, Ray sighed as he said,

"What's my childhood got to do with anything?"

Adam leaned his elbows on his thighs as he said to Ray,

"Because sometimes things that happen to us when we are really young might not affect us until we are older…like maybe something happened with your father, and that's why you started to abuse drugs…it was a way for you to escape something"

Ray bit his lip as he looked down to his hands in his lap, surprised to see them shaking, and knowing that this time it wasn't just the withdrawal symptoms. Looking back up, he shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Adam, his mouth opening as if he wanted to say something, and then shutting again, his brain telling him that he didn't, that it wasn't a good idea to share this. Seeing this, Adam looked at Ray with an encouraging smile as he said,

"Did something happen when you were younger Ray?"

Ray looked at Adam and then at James as he ran a hand over the back of his neck and pushed himself back into the couch he was sitting on, as if he would make himself smaller, maybe escape from the questions that he didn't want to answer. Biting at his nail before he answered, Ray finally said,

"He lost his job…his company went bust and he changed"

Adam nodded his head as he jotted something else down on his notepad before looking at Ray again and asking,

"What do you mean he changed Ray, in what way?"

Ray crossed her arms over his chest, as if he was trying to protect himself as he said,

"He used to drink too much sometimes and take it out on me and mom…it was just cos he was stressed over losing his job…that company was his life"

James looked at Ray with a picture of sympathy on his face. He had seen too many people come through the doors with addictions that stemmed back to something that had happened in their childhood, something that they may not have been able to prevent. But it would catch up with them and eat away at them, sometimes leaving them with the feeling that they had nowhere else to turn.

"What would he do Ray, would he hit you?" Adam said, seeing the look that James gave Ray.

"Yeah" Ray said as he nodded his head, his voice quiet.

Adam waited a moment before he moved his chair closer to Ray, looking him straight in the eyes, although not in an unnerving way, as he asked with a gentle voice,

"Did he ever do anything else Ray…did he ever touch you or make you do anything you didn't want to?"

Ray felt tears that he didn't want to cry fill up in his eyes as he shook his head and said,

"He was drunk…he didn't know what he was doing…he never did anything on purpose"

James placed a comforting hand on Rays shoulder as he moved slightly closer to the young man and said in a reassuring voice,

"It doesn't matter Ray, it was still wrong, he still shouldn't have done it…did you ever tell anyone?" Ray had looked at James when he had placed his hand on his shoulder, shaking his head as he closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again and saying in a hushed voice,

"No…I, he would've got mad…I didn't want to make him worse"

James looked over at Adam, giving him a look that said it was enough for one day, and turned back to Ray as he said,

"I know, it's O.K"

Adam scribbled a few notes on his notepad before he set it down on the table beside him and pushed his chair closer to Ray as he said,

"O.K, I'm going to cut this session a little short, but you've made a lot of progress today and you've been really brave saying what you have"

Not entirely believing him, Ray nodded his head meekly, not knowing exactly what to say, his eyes turned down to his hands in his lap. Biting his lip, Ray looked at Adam as he asked,

"So when do I come back again?"

Looking over at James briefly, Adam gave Ray a small smile as he said,

"I'll see and let James know, he'll tell you as soon as he finds out, won't you?"

Nodding his head in response, James replied,

"Sure", patting Ray on the shoulder. James truly felt sorry for Ray. In the brief time that he had spent with him he had grown to like him and hated that once again it was something so tragic that had pushed someone so young to drugs. Standing up, James looked at Ray as he said,

"Ready to go kiddo?"

Nodding his head, Ray stood up beside James, and turned to Adam as he said,

"Thanks"

Looking at Ray, Adam tilted his head slightly to the side, looking directly into Rays eyes as he said,

"Remember, if you ever need to talk, night or day, you know where I am"

* * *

It was a few minutes later and Ray and James were back in Rays room, the latter rummaging through is drawers while the other sat on the bed, watching.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked as he watched Ray find what he was looking for, a navy hoodie, and pull it over his head before turning around and flopping into the vacant chair beside the bed.

"I just don't understand why" Ray said, his eyes downcast as he said it.

Leaning forward, James said,

"Why he did it?" He watched as Ray nodded his head, not once looking up, and then said, "Well, I don't really know Ray…and I don't think he does either…" James' voice kept a neutral tone, not wanting to sound as if he was being critical. But he wasn't going to let Ray think that this was his fault either.

Ray finally looked up at James with tired eyes as he ran his hand through his hair before letting out a sigh and holding his head in his hands. James moved from his position on the bed and crouched down in front of Ray, moving his hands so he had to look him in the eyes and said,

"I know this seems really bad at the minute, but this is when you really have to stick with it Ray…this is when your strength is really going to be tested. You took drugs to stop remembering these things and now you don't have them to fall back on, you have to face your demons" Pausing, James looked at Ray as tears welled up in his green eyes, his jaw tensing as he wouldn't allow them to spill. "But you have people who love you and people who care about you who are going to help you get through this…O.K?"

Ray nodded his head as James stood and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze as he said,

"Good. You look beat, why don't you lie down for a while and I'll swing by and talk to you later"

As soon as James had left, Ray moved from the chair to lying on the bed, his eyes closed and soon fell asleep. Although it wasn't a peaceful sleep, his reprieve from his troubles not long as he dreams soon turned to nightmares as wounds long forgotten were reopened.

_Ray was seventeen years old and he was in Texas, the state which his father was living this time, sitting in the living room and waiting for him to come back. He had gone out to visit one of his friends for a drink, leaving Ray alone. The rain was pouring and lightening striking, unnerving Ray. He hated staying in his father's house in general, but the fact that the weather was so bad just made it worse. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearing midnight, and was fed up waiting on John Barnett dragging himself in. Instead he decided that he would just go to bed and go to sleep, and in the morning his father would offer him a lame excuse for why he had been back late, apology's that he didn't really mean and that he would repeat to Ray the next time he would be so drunk he wouldn't be home until the next morning._

_Stepping out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth before, he was surprised when he heard the front door open and shut. Walking to the top of the stairs, Ray looked down and saw his father at the bottom of the stairs, an 'I'm sorry' look plastered on his face. _

"_Ray, you're still up…come here a minute son, will you?"_

_Ray wondered what it was he wanted as he made his way down the stairs. Looking up at his father, who stood at 6'4 and of a muscled build, a lot more than Ray's shorter and thinner 5'8 frame, _

"_What is it dad?" Ray asked as his father smiled at him._

_John didn't say anything, just pulled Ray close to him and hugged him to him as he rested his cheek on the top of Ray's head and said in a slightly slurred voice, showing that he was in fact more drunk that he appeared, _

"_I love you Ray, you know that, don't you?"_

_Ray nodded his head, confused as to the sudden surge of paternal affection his father was showing him as he said, _

"_Yeah dad, I know you do…I love you too" _

_John hugged him tighter before holding him at arms length, the same smile still on his face as he said, _

"_And we'd do anything for each right?" Ray just simply nodded, slight unnerved by his fathers action; although he wasn't quite sure why. John walked up the stairs and motioned for Ray to follow, and walked to his own bedroom, pulling a box down from the top shelf of his wardrobe and setting it on the bed. Calling Ray over, John opened the box as Ray sat on the bed beside him and pulled out a picture of him and Ray's mother Karen on their wedding day._

"_I miss her every day you know…lie awake at night wishing that I had her again" _

_Ray looked at the picture and then at his father. He didn't know what to say, how could he? Karen had kicked John out after one too many drunken rows had turned violent, John hitting Ray and her, putting him in the hospital. Since then they hadn't really spoken, and Ray only seen his father one weekend every couple of months. From what he knew, Karen hated John, not wanting anything to do with him. But it was very apparent that John didn't feel the same way._

_Ray looked down at his hands in his lap, and tensed up when he felt his fathers hand on the side of his face, his breath close on his neck as he said, _

"_You remind me of your mother sometimes…you have her eyes you know"_

_Ray pulled his head away and stood up, making his way to the door, facing John as he said,_

"_It's late; I have to go to bed"_

_But John sprang from the bed and pushed Ray against the wall as he leaned down to his face, his rough hand running down the side of Rays cheek as he said,_

"_No…just stay, just for a while" John said as he grabbed at Ray's wrist with his free hand, pushing Ray's hand down, forcing him to touch him as he whispered in his son's ear, _

"_You said you would do anything"_

_Ray turned his head away from his father as he tried to wrench his hand away, only to have John push himself further onto his son, pinning him to the wall. Ray wanted to scream, to tell him to stop it, that it was wrong, but couldn't make his voice do anything. Ray felt his stomach sway as John let go of Rays wrist, only to unbuckle his own jeans, and pull at the belt of Rays, even as Ray said in a choked sob, _

"_Don't"_

_John, moved his hand to Rays cheek as he placed a sloppy kiss on his son's forehead before saying, _

"_Shush, this'll be our little secret"_

_Ray shook his head and tried to push John away, but even in his drunken state he was still considerably stronger than Ray. He grabbed at Rays wrist and pushed him so his front was facing the wall, and still had his wrists grabbed in his hand as he said, _

"_Just Ray's and daddy's little secret"_

_Ray closed his eyes as he knew what was going to happen, still not being able to believe that his own father would do that to him… Letting a few tears fall down his cheeks as he felt John pushing his jeans down, Ray said, _

"_Please dad, don't…please, don't"_

_But John didn't listen, he wasn't thinking straight. He knew what he was about to do was disgusting and wrong, but he just missed Karen so much, and if he could just find a way of being closer to her again, then maybe he would stop feeling the way he did._

_Ray let out a scream as he felt his father push into him, tears running down his face from the unbearable pain he felt. The feeling of John moving in and out of him was making him want to be physically sick, and his legs shook as he tried to hold himself up. He could smell the stench of alcohol as John breathed down the back of his neck, even as he tried to push him away. As John came inside him, Ray let out a sob, closing his eyes as he felt the bile rise up his throat, but pushing it down. _

_John let go of Rays wrist as he stepped back and fixed his own jeans, watching as his son painfully and tearfully pulled his own jeans up. Bending down, John wrapping his hands around Ray's biceps, even as he dug his feet into the carpet and tried to hit him, tears running down his cheeks. Pulling Ray to him, he felt him tense up, his fists still smacking at his broad chest as he kissed the top of his head and said, _

"_You have to keep this our secret…O.K Ray?"_

_Ray stopped hitting him, his knees buckling and giving out beneath him, John being the only thing holding him up as he nodded his head into his shoulder, his sobs the only sound filling the room._

Ray felt someone shaking him, pushing at his shoulders, and tried to push them off, still caught in his nightmare. He opened his eyes when he heard someone calling his name, surprised to see James sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands on his shoulders and his face a mask of concern as he said,

"Ray…what's the matter?" He had been walking past Ray's room and had heard him shouting, and opened the door, shocked to see him caught in an obvious nightmare, tossing and turning on his bed as tears slid down his cheeks.

Ray pushed himself up onto his elbows as he took a deep breath, unnerved by the dream he had just had. He lifted a hand to his face and wiped it across his eyes as he looked down before saying to James,

"Nothing…it was just a bad dream"

James nodded his head as he said in a gentle voice,

"Was it about your dad?"

Ray nodded his head as he said,

"I don't really want to talk about it"

James nodded his head. Ray was obviously shaken by whatever it was and didn't feel in the mood for talking. But James would make sure to tell Alex, guessing that there was definitely something more than Ray was letting on about his father and what had happened when he was younger and it was obviously deeply affecting him.

"Erm, did you need me for something?" Ray asked, wondering why James was in his room, not aware of the fact he had been shouting in his sleep.

James shook his head as he said,

"No, I heard you shouting and came to see what was wrong…but now that you're up, you want to go on a walk?" Grinning, he let out a small laugh as he said, "I know that it can be boring sometimes sitting in your room all day"

Ray smiled, and said with a nervous smile,

"I kind of just want to be alone for a bit, if you don't mind" He didn't want James to think that he wasn't grateful for the offer, but he was too shaken from the memory, and wanted to be alone.

James nodded his head with a smile, understanding completely, and left, closing the door behind him. When he left he was just going to go and check on another patient, but decided that maybe he needed to help Ray. Walking to the reception desk, James pulled out the book of contact information, and began trifling through; looking for the card he wanted. When he found it, he picked up the phone and leaned against the desk, waiting patiently as the dialing tone sounded for a few moments before it was replaced by a voice saying,

"Hello, Kerry Weaver, who is calling?"

James smiled at the greeting, before saying,

"Hello, this is James Martins from the Chicago Rehabilitation centre. I was wondering if I could speak to Karen Barnett?"

James leaned back against the desk as he waited for an answer, and began to scribble on the page in front of him.

"I'm sorry she isn't here, she went back home to Baton Rogue, is something wrong with Ray?" Kerry asked with concern in her voice, worried that something had happened.

"No, nothing at all…well, nothing physically anyway. We had a therapy session today, and well, some things came up that we believe may have been the cause of his problem"

Kerry, who was listening intently sat down on the couch as she listened, confused as to why they would need to talk to Karen.

"What was it, if you don't mind my asking?" Kerry asked in a polite voice.

"Well, I would rather talk in person if you would be able to come down…the therapist would like to do a family session…we believe that if we sort out the emotional cause of the problem as soon as possible, then it will be easier to combat the physical side affects of the addiction" James answered in a professional voice.

Kerry organized a time to meet, and hung up, wishing James a good day. Setting the phone back in its cradle, James smiled, pleased that things seemed to be taking a step in a more positive direction.

* * *

**A/N Wow! That was a long update…and hopefully a good one. I hope that the flashback/dream wasn't too graphic or disturbing for anyone, as that wasn't an intention. I felt that something like that would be a good reason for Ray's addiction, and since it is such a taboo subject, a good one to pick. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	13. Leave This All Behind

**Thanks to everyone to read and reviewed the last chapter, I know that it wasn't really an update, so I'm giving you hopefully a good one that you will enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think, because feedback is love! **

**This chapter is set one day after the previous chapter. For this chapter I wanted to show the growing friendship between James and Ray, because later on in the story that friendship may be tested *evil grin***

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen – Leave This All Behind**

* * *

Sitting on his bed, his back against the wall and his arms around his shins, Ray could feel the all too familiar signs of withdrawal creeping back. The methadone that they had given him a while ago had kept the shivering and the nausea at bay…but now they were coming back full force. His shoulders slumped over Ray leaned his forehead on his knees, images of everything that his father had ever done coming back to him. He had been doing fine, the memories kept at bay and locked away in the deepest recess of his mind. Of course that was with the help of as many drugs as he could name so although it wasn't the best way of dealing with things, he had just been happy to be able to forget about it. Lifting his head up Ray felt anger building inside him, towards himself and his father. He hated the fact that he had let his own father doing something like that and blamed John for the fact that he was stuck in rehab in the first place. Ray was interrupted from his thoughts by a knock at the door and turned to see that James was standing there, a worried expression on his face.

Without saying anything, James walked in, shutting the door behind him and walked over to Ray as he said,

"What's wrong?" Ray's face a picture of anguish, James could see that he was obviously struggling with something, and hoped that maybe he would open up to him.

Looking at James, who had taken a seat in the chair beside the bed, Ray struggled with what to say for a moment before he finally said,

"I just…I hate him so much for everything" Pausing a moment, Ray looked straight ahead of him as he continued, "I wish that I'd never had to see him again after he left…then I wouldn't be stuck here"

Leaning forward slightly, his elbows on his thighs, James looked at Ray as he asked in a neutral tone,

"You mean after he left you and your mother? Did he still hit you?"

Nodding his head, Ray let out a sigh of frustration, at himself and not James, and leaned his head against the wall.

Not wanting to push Ray, but knowing that he needed to open up and let someone in, James asked in a gentle voice,

"Did he ever do anything else besides hit you…or make you do anything?"

Pushing himself off the bed, Ray stood and walked over to the set of drawers in the room, his back to James as he fiddled with the few belongings he had sitting on the top of the drawers and replied,

"If he hadn't lost his job then he wouldn't have started drinking"

Sensing that there was something more than what Ray had let on in the therapy session, especially now that Ray wouldn't answer the question; James looked at Ray as he asked again,

"Ray, did your father ever touch you or make you do anything you didn't want to?"

His anger turning into anguish, Ray felt a few tears fall down his face, his back still turned to James as he nodded his head, opening his mouth to reply "Yes" only a sob escaping his lips. Ray had never told anyone before, but he felt that he could open up to James. That he was more than just a case worker to him, he felt more like a friend at times.

Seeing Ray nod his head, his shoulders shaking as a strangled sob escaped his lips, no matter how much he was obviously trying to stop it, James stood from his seat and walked over to Ray in three long strides, pulling the younger man to him as he said in a gentle, reassuring voice,

"It's O.K"

His hands gripping onto the front of James' shirt, Ray squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight the tidal wave of emotions that threatened to take over him, but was too tired to fight them, instead he buried his face in the other mans shoulder and let the tears fall.

Running his hand up and down Rays back, trying to soothe him, James leaned his mouth down to his ear as he whispered,

"What your father did was terrible…but you're not going to let that stop you overcoming this are you? Aren't you going to show him that you're better than him?"

Pulling back from him slightly, Ray looked up at James' face as he meekly nodded his head, his eyes red and face tear stained.

Giving Ray a warm smile, James wiped the pad of his thumbs over Rays cheeks, wiping away all the traces of tears on his face before pulling him into a hug and asking,

"Do you want me to stay here for a while?" James hated the thought of leaving after Ray had opened up to him like that, sharing what was probably the biggest secret and burden he had with him, and so wanted to stay and let him know that he was going to be there for him.

Normally Ray would have told him "No", that he would be fine on his own. But honestly Ray didn't want to be on his own. He wanted somebody with him so he didn't have to think about it. Nodding his head, Ray said quietly,

"If you don't have anywhere to be"

Smiling, James shook his head as he said,

"Nah kiddo, I'm free all afternoon"

Letting Ray out of the hug, James sat down on Ray's bed, Ray taking a seat beside him, resuming his original position, his knees pulled up and his back against the wall. Turning slightly so that he could look at Ray, James asked,

"So what do you want to do…watch some T.V?"

But Ray couldn't stop thinking about everything, as much as he wanted to. And the more that he tried to stop thinking about his father the more images and memories would bubble to the surface again.

Seeing Rays lip quivering, his head bowed slightly, James moved closer to Ray and placed his hand on his knee as he asked delicately,

"Hey, it's O.K…do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking his head, tears falling from his eyes as he did, no longer trying to fight them, Ray cried,

"No, I just want to forget about it…I don't want to be here"

Moving his hand to Rays back, James leaned closer to him as he said in a soft voice,

"I know you don't Ray…when it gets hard like this and you have to face up to something that you don't want to of course you want to run away from it. But this is when you _really_ need to stick with it Ray"

Sitting back against the wall again, forcing James to pull his hand away, Ray looked at James as he asked, almost innocently,

"But why should I have to be the one stuck here…why does he get to have a great life now when he's the one that did it all?"

Looking at Ray with sympathy in his eyes, truly feeling for the young man beside him, James replied honestly,

"I don't know…but don't you want to have a chance at a great life Ray…you'll not get that if you keep doing what you're doing"

Wiping his hands across his eyes, Ray looked at James with a crooked grin as he replied,

"Should have seen that one coming, shouldn't I?"

* * *

It was twenty minutes later and Ray and James were watching an old horror movie on the T.V. of course Ray wasn't really concentrating on the movie anymore…he was too distracted by the fact that for the past ten minutes he felt like he had been dipped in ice and couldn't stop shivering.

Pulling the sleeves of his sweatshirt down over his hands and wrapping his arms tighter around his shins in an attempt to get warm, Ray managed to draw the attention of James, his fidgeting on the bed as he tried to get comfortable distracting the other man from the movie. Turning his head to look at Ray he immediately noticed the pallor of his skin and the light film of sweat that was covering him, as well as his bodies trembling.

"Whoa, you alright there kiddo, you don't look so good"

Reaching his hand across and putting it against Ray's forehead, he could immediately feel the heat that was coming from him.

"You're burning up", he said aloud, smirking himself when Ray replied,

"You're kidding right…it feels like Antarctica in here"

Standing up, James walked into the bathroom and wet a flannel in cool water, shouting into Ray as he did,

"Take off your sweatshirt…the sooner you get that temperature down the sooner you'll feel better"

Rolling his eyes, more at the fact that he felt like he was being treated like a kid, Ray recalled a few night prior in Kerry's house when he had been the same way. _And it was just so much fun then _he thought with a short laugh as he pulled his sweatshirt over his head and tossed it to the side.

"What's funny?" James asked as he walked back and sat on the bed beside Ray, placing the flannel against his forehead.

"What, oh, nothing" Ray replied with a small smile, shivering more as the cool cloth made contact with his skin.

After a few minutes, James moved to the chair beside Ray's bed as he said,

"You should lie down…a few hours sleep and you'll wake up feeling a lot better"

Doing as James suggest, Ray smirked as he looked over at him and said,

"And what, leave you here to watch my T.V?"

Nodding his head, a grin on his own face, James leaned forward in the chair to set the flannel back on Ray's forehead as he said,

"Of course kiddo, this movie's a classic…so don't snore too loud"

Laughing softly, Ray turned his attention back to the movie, feeling his eyes growing heavier until a few minutes later they fell shut and Ray was asleep.

* * *

"_But I don't see why I have to go" Ray pleaded with his mother as she prepared the dinner. It had been three weeks since he had last seen his father…that awful night. Just thinking about it was enough to make his feel sick to his stomach and send chills up his spine. _

"_He's still your father Ray and he has a right to see you…so as much as you don't want to go I'm afraid you have to. It was part of the settlement; you stay with him 2 weekends a month"_

_Sighing, Ray turned and left the kitchen, knowing there was no way out of it. He wasn't going to tell his mother what happened…he didn't want to think about it and he knew that if he told her that's exactly what he would have to do. He was also afraid of what John would do if he found out he had told. After all, it was their secret, right?_

_Flopping down onto his bed, Ray closed his eyes and just wished that the weekend would pass by quickly. _

_It was the next day and Ray had arrived at John's house, Karen quickly dropping him off and driving away. Adjusting his bag on his back, Ray slowly walks towards the house, hoping that maybe John is out and he can just go up to his room. Although his wish is dashed when John opens the door before he even makes it to the steps leading up to the porch, and he feels his heart thundering in his chest. _

"_Hey son" John said, a smile plastered on his face. Walking forward he pulled Ray into a hug before saying, _

"_Come on in then, I was just watching a movie"_

_Ray followed John into the house and dumped his bag at the bottom on the stairs before following his father into the living room. He didn't know why John was acting the way he was, as if he hadn't done what he had…as if he was almost like the perfect father who wanted to spend some quality time with his son. _

_Sitting down on the sofa at the far end and not beside his father, Ray kept his eyes on the T.V screen, not paying attention to the movie, just wishing that it would end soon and he could go to his room, away from his father. _

"_So, what have you been up to since last visit?" John asked as he took a sip from the bottle of beer in his hand. _

_Running a nervous hand over the back of his neck, Ray looked everywhere but at his father as he replied in a somewhat shaky voice, _

"_Nothing really…just school"_

_Nodding his head, John Barnett stood from his chair and placed his now empty beer bottle on the coffee table before taking a seat again, this time closer to Ray. This of course let Ray know that John had drunk more than one beer, the smell of alcohol rolling off him in waves. Leaning in close to Ray, he put his hand on his knee as he then asked, _

"_Do you remember what I said last time you were here Ray…about us doing anything for each other"_

_His stomach sick with fear, Ray nodded his head slowly before answering in a quiet voice, _

"_Yeah"_

_Pulling Ray closer to him, causing Ray to tense up although John either didn't notice or didn't care, and said in a low voice, _

"_And our little secret, you didn't tell anyone did you?"_

_Shaking his head, Ray looked his father in the eyes since the first time he had arrived as he replied, _

"_I didn't"_

_Kissing Ray on the forehead, making his skin crawl, John pulled back slightly as he said, _

"_Good boy"_

_It was a few hours later and Ray was lying on his bed in his room watching T.V. John had gone out to the bar, Ray being glad for that, and had yet to come back. Flipping through the channels as he tried to find something half decent to watch, Ray heard the sound of front door slamming shut, and jumped up in bed. His father was quite obviously drunk, but by the sounds of it he was also angry…never a good combination with John Barnett. _

_Lying back down quickly, Ray turned his back to the door and pulled the blankets up to his chin, squeezing his eyes shut. He hoped, __**prayed, **__that if he feigned sleep then maybe John wouldn't come into the room. Because the truth was Ray was afraid of what he might do after the last time he had been alone with John when he was drunk. Hearing the sound of Johns heavy boots as he climbed the stairs, Ray felt tears spring to his eyes, his entire body trembling with fear when he heard the sound of his bedroom door opening. _

"_Come on Ray, get up" John slurred, walking over and grabbing Ray by the arm, hauling him from the bed regardless of if he was asleep or not._

_Digging his heels into the carpet, Ray tried to pull his arm from John's grip as he pulled him towards his own bedroom, tears falling from his eyes as he cried, _

"_What are you doing…let go"_

_Ignoring his sons cries, John pulled Ray into his room before looking at him, his eyes mad with anger, and spat out, _

"_You said you would so anything…and I always taught you never to go back on your word, didn't I?"_

_Still trying to pull his arm free from Johns grasp, the area where John was holding already turning a deep shade of purple from the other mans grip, Ray pleaded, _

"_Please, let go"_

_Yanking his arm free, Ray tried to run past John and out of the room, only to have John grab his around the waist and pulled him back, slamming him up against the wall, his hands on either side of him. Leaning his face down close to Ray's, the stench of stale alcohol making Ray want to gag, John said in a low, threatening voice, _

"_You'll do what you're told, and keep your mouth shut about it, O.K"_

_Ray nodded his head, tears falling from his eyes as he did. Feeling John pulling at the belt of his jeans, a sob escaped him, John taking no notice. He knew that he could try and fight John, even if his father was considerably larger than him. But the truth was he was too scared to do anything. He didn't even try to push John away as he pushed him so that his front was against the wall, almost as if he was in a trance, unable to believe that this was happening. _

_Feeling John push into him, a scream ripped from his throat, John pulling him as close to him as he could. _

_When John let him go, Ray pulled up his jeans and ran from his room as fast as he could, running into the bathroom and locking the door. Sliding down the wall, he pulled his knees up to his chest, tears running down his face._

"_Ray, open the door" John said from the other side of the door, his voice calm as if he hadn't just done what he had. _

_Hands shaking, Ray sat still for a moment, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to let John in afraid that he might do it again, but he was also afraid of what John might do if he didn't open the door. _

"_Ray, please open the door" John asked again from outside the bathroom, his voice still in the same calm, steady tone. _

_Shifting, Ray unlocked the door, shuffling back straight away as John pushed the door open and stepped in, looking down at Ray. He looked at him with his face tear streaked, more quickly making their way down his face, eyes red and trembling. _

_Crouching down in front of Ray, John reached out and pulled his to him, Ray crying harder as he did. Running his hand up and down his back, John whispered to Ray, _

"_Remember Ray, our secret", Ray nodded slowly into his shoulder._

* * *

Waking suddenly, Ray first noticed how dark it was. James was gone and the room was pitch black. Lifting his hand to his face he wiped away the moisture there before sitting up and swinging his legs to the side of the bed. Dropping his head into his hands, Ray sighed as he said to himself,

"I need to get out of this place"

Pushing himself to his feet Ray grabbed his hoodie and put it back on before shoving his feet into his beat up converse. Walking over to the door of his room he opened it slightly and looked up and down the hall, glad to see that no one about.

Stepping out of the room he quickly and quietly made his way down the hall, checking to make sure that no one was about before taking a left. He had saw some of the orderlies go down this hall earlier and leave through a back door to have a smoke break, and guessed that would be the best way to try. Looking over his shoulder once more to make sure that nobody was watching him, Ray jogged down the hall before reaching the door and pushed the handle down, the sound of a soft "click" resounding around the hall.

"Yes" Ray said under his breath with a smile. Obviously whoever had been out last had forgotten to lock the door again, _I'll make sure to send them a Christmas card this year, _Ray thought as he walked out the door and into the back alley.

Closing the door behind him, Ray gave the alley a once over, making sure that none of the orderlies were in fact about before he ran down the alley and out into the street. Turning right, he jogged down the street for another five minutes before falling into a walk again.

* * *

**A/N – I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, even though it was kind of dark/angsty in the middle there. Please review and let me know what you think, because comments are love!**


	14. It's Taking Over Me

**Sorry for not updating this in a while, but real life was very busy…and sadly school is starting soon again. But I am going to try and write more on the weekends even if it does…I promise that I won't abandon any of my stories! Well, enough of that and on with the chapter**

**Chapter Fourteen – It's Taking Over Me**

Walking down the hall to Ray's room, James hoped that maybe after his rest and some time to himself Ray would be more open and would maybe want to discuss what had happened between him and his father. When Ray had fallen asleep James had gone to talk to Adam, explaining to him what Ray and told him and seeing what he thought the best thing to do would be. Since Ray had opened up to James; Adam had suggested that he try and get Ray to talk to him about it. And so that's what he was hoping to do. Reaching the door, James noticed that it was slightly ajar, although he was certain that he had closed it tight when he had left. Pushing it open, James' immediately noticed that Ray wasn't in his bed and so he walked over to the bathroom, finding it empty as well.

"Shit", James cursed under his breath, realizing that Ray was gone. He half blamed himself, knowing that Ray had told him that he didn't want to be there anymore…he should have been on guard for something like this. Rushing out of the room James ran down the hall and out the back door, hoping that maybe Ray had _just _left and he would be able to catch him on time. However, opening the door all he saw was rain pouring from the sky and old newspapers getting blown across the ground by the bitter Chicago wind that chilled the air.

XXXXX

Pulling his jacket around him, Ray turned down an alley off the main street that he had been walking along for the past ten minutes when he saw a police car coming down the street. He guessed that someone may have noticed that he was missing by now and they were probably out looking for him, but he was determined that he wasn't going to go back.

Jogging a bit down the alley, Ray slowed down to a walk again when he saw a group of about six men up ahead. Normally Ray wouldn't be afraid of something like this, or he would at least convince himself that he wasn't. But this was different. He was sick, weak and had no clue where he was and the men up ahead all averaged at about six foot three and 260 pounds of muscle. _I must have been really lucky to have walked down this alley at this time _Ray thought as one of the men turned and looked at him.

He contemplated turning and going back, but the flashing lights of the police cars as they drove past stopped him from doing that. So bowing his head slightly, Ray began to walk forward at a quicker pace than he usually did. Just as he became level with the group of men, Ray felt one of them put their hand on his chest, the largest of the group, as he asked in a low voice,

"Where do you think you're going?"

XXXXX

"So he could have left at most twenty minutes ago?" Mr. Adler, James' superior asked. After he had checked the alley and saw no sign of Ray, James had immediately reported his absence. Nodding his head, James pulled his coat on as he said to Mr. Adler,

"I'll go out and see if I can find him. He's sick and doesn't know the city, so he can't have gotten far."

As soon as he stepped out onto the street, James pulled his coat around him, the wind nipping at the exposed skin on his hands. He didn't want to imagine how Ray must have felt at the moment, and instead focused on making sure he found him and got him back as soon as he could. Walking down the street as the rain fell heavier; James kept a trained eye on every face that he saw, looking out for any sign of Ray. He had been up and down these streets before, knew them like the back of his hand. If Ray could have found somewhere to get a score he was certain that he would. Pushing forward, James just hoped that he found him before it came to that. The clinic didn't like people who didn't want their help and didn't do anything to try and help themselves, and if Ray had gone out and got high then they would most likely tell him to go somewhere else for help. But James had grown fond of Ray and wanted to help to, to see him get through this and get better. That's why he needed to find him so badly.

XXXXX

Looking up at the other man, Ray said,

"Look, I don't want any trouble"

Laughing slightly, the other man tightened his grip on the front of Ray's shirt, looking at the other men standing behind him as he said,

"Doesn't want any trouble, huh?" turning his attention back to Ray, he added with a snarl, "Too late for that pretty boy"

Before Ray even had time to react he felt a fist connect with his jaw, sending him off balance, just as a knee connected with his stomach, sending him to the ground. Covering his head with his arms, Ray tried to block the blows as all six men began punching and kicking him. As the kicks and punches rained down on his, his entire body feeling like it was on fire with the pain, Ray felt himself slipping into unconsciousness, unable to fight it in his already weakened state.

XXXXX

He had already been out looking for Ray for the past ten minutes and James was beginning to doubt that he was going to find him. He had told Adler to hold out on calling the police until he had came back, but now he was beginning to think that was going to be the course that was going to have to be taken. Sighing, he was about to turn and go back, his heart heavy with what had happened, but stopped at the entrance to an alley, figuring that looking down one more before making his way back wouldn't hurt.

Not being able to see clearly with the rain that was falling, heavier than it had been when he had left, James was only a few feet away from the figure lying on the ground when it made them out. Rushing over, he dropped to his knees and immediately began to panic when he saw that it was Ray, shivering and his face covered in blood and bruises as he struggled to stay conscious. Putting one arm under Ray's shoulders and wrapping the other around his waist, James pulled him to his, half cradling him against him as he gently shook him, watching as Rays eyes fluttered open before shutting again.

"Come on kiddo, stay with me here"

Rubbing his thumb over Ray's cheek, smearing the blood as he did so, James pulled Ray tighter to him, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he heard Ray let out a low groan, his eyes screwing shut before opening slowly. Although James knew that he should probably call an ambulance, he wanted to get Ray back to the clinic as soon as possible. He could be fixed up there and it would also give James a chance to show him that they understood why he left and weren't mad at him for it, but still wanted to help. Feeling Ray shivering against him, his jacket and t-shirt soaked, James pulled him closer to him as he said,

"Come on, let's get you back and fixed up"

Helping Ray to his feet, his arm wrapped around his waist, James was hoping that Ray would comply with him and just go back to the clinic. With the state he was in it was really the best thing for him. But that wasn't going to happen. Shrugging James off him, and stumbling slightly when he did, Ray turned so that he was facing James, taking a few steps back as he said,

"No, I'm not going back there"

"Ray, we just want to help you" James said in a soft voice, knowing that at the minute Ray was probably feeling like a scared animal. Pinned into a corner with nowhere to go and just looking for a way out.

Shaking his head, Ray looked James right in the eyes as he said,

"You don't, you wanna fix people…I don't need that. I've been doing fine the past four years without any help from you"

As James took a step forward, Ray turned and began to run further down the alley, determined that he wasn't going back. But James was faster than he was, and not hurt, and so he quickly caught him, grabbing him around the waist.

_Yanking his arm free, Ray tried to run past John and out of the room, only to have John grab his around the waist and pulled him back, slamming him up against the wall, his hands on either side of him. Leaning his face down close to Ray's, the stench of stale alcohol making Ray want to gag, John said in a low, threatening voice, _

"_You'll do what you're told, and keep your mouth shut about it, O.K"_

Ray felt his heart quickening, scared of what James was going to do, even though in his heart he knew that he would never do anything like that to him, but he couldn't stop the fear that was pumping through his veins.

"Please, don't" Ray cried as he tried to pull free from James' grip, his legs beginning to buckle beneath him with the absolute terror at the irrational thoughts in his head.

Hearing what Ray said, and realizing that he was just pushing Ray further away, probably treating him exactly as his father had, James loosened his hold on Ray, pulling him into a hug as he let them drop to their knees.

"It's O.K, its O.K…" James soothed as he ran his hand up and down Ray's back, feeling his shake with the force of his tears as he buried his face in his shoulder.

It was obvious that Ray wasn't telling James something, but he was determined to find out what it was and help Ray through all of this. After a few moments of sitting in near silence, the other sound Rays soft crying and the rain hitting off the ground, James felt Ray shift in his arms before he said,

"I'm sorry", his voice muffled as his face was still buried in James shoulder, afraid of what he would see if he looked him in the eye.

_He probably hates me now, after all he tried to do to help me and I did this…Kerry was right._

"Don't be…it's been a tough last few days on you, I shouldn't have pushed you so hard"

Pulling back from the embrace, Ray reached his hand up to wipe away the tears off his face, wincing when he touched the tender skin too rough, and dropping his hand to his side again.

Reaching his hand out, James ran a gentle hand over Ray's cheekbone, his face a picture of concentration and concern as he said,

"Well, it doesn't feel broken…but I'm sure that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, hey kiddo?" James half joked as he looked Ray in the eyes, earning him a small smile as Ray replied,

"You have no idea"

Standing up, James held out a hand to Ray and helped pull him to his feet, Ray swaying a bit as dizziness overcame him. Wrapping his arm around Ray's waist again, supporting him, James began to walk out of the alley as he said,

"We'll get a cab, there's no way you could walk back like this"

XXXXX

James helped Ray through the doors of the clinic, hoping that since Ray had came back with him that maybe they would go easier on him, allow him this one mistake. But upon seeing Kerry Weaver standing there, her face a picture of fury, he knew that there were worse things to deal with first. How was he going to explain how her nephew had ended up in the condition that he had?

"How did this happen?" Kerry fumed as she made her way over to Ray and James, her hand cupping Rays face as she studied his injuries.

"Maybe we could discuss this while Ray's getting fixed up?" James suggested, knowing that having this discussion in the middle of the hall wasn't the best thing.

Nodding her head in agreement, Kerry followed James and Ray down the hall to a small room that was used as a small hospital like room. It contained all of the equipment that was needed for patching up wounds, nothing to major though. As on occasion fights would break out between the people staying in the clinic and it was always easier to get them fixed up in there than taking them to a hospital if it wasn't anything life threatening.

As Ray sat down on the bed, Kerry walked straight to him, cupping his chin gently in her hand as she angled his face up towards her.

"What exactly happened tonight…I was on call at the hospital and got a call saying that Ray had left, to get down here immediately. And when I do you bring him back looking like this" She said before turning her attention to James, waiting for an answer.

"Well, it's been a tough last few days for Ray, as I'm sure you're aware and obviously it got a bit much for your nephew"

Although Ray hated it when people talked about him like he wasn't there when he was only sitting a few feet away from them, he much preferred that to being under the icy glare of his aunt. He knew that she had a temper and didn't want to end up on the receiving end of it.

"How exactly do you mean?" Kerry asked, stepping aside and allowing the nurse to tend to Ray's injuries.

Looking over at Ray, James thought for a moment before looking down at Kerry and asking in a soft voice,

"Can I talk to you for a moment in private?"

Nodding her head, Kerry followed James outside the room and into another small vacant room across the hall. When he had shut the door behind them she looked at him and asked,

"What was it you wanted to speak to me about?" curious as to what he could need to say that he didn't want Ray to hear.

Motioning for Kerry to take a seat, he sat down in the chair facing her, his elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped lightly in front of him before he started,

"Well, as you know we like to try and find out the reason _why _these guys started to abuse drugs as it's an important stepping stone in stopping"

Nodding her head, Kerry replied,

"Yes. Why, did Ray say something to you that may be the reason for why he left?"

Knowing that it wasn't his place to tell Kerry what Ray had said, but wanting to let her know some of what was going on with her nephew, James nodded his head as he said,

"Yes, about his father…and I think that maybe being in this environment and having to face everything without the fallback of the drugs made him feel distressed."

"What did he tell you?" Kerry asked concern evident on her face.

"I don't really feel it's my place to say, but if you would be able to come down for a family session sometime this week when you're free?"

Kerry agreed and made the appropriate arrangements with James. Knowing that something her brother in law may have done or said to Ray had been the catalyst for his problem made her angry, but she was determined to help him through it and be there for him, she had promised her sister that and she wouldn't go back on her word.

**A/N – Well, I hope that you liked that chapter and please let me know what you think! Also, I'm kind of stuck on which one of my stories to update next, so if anyone wants to see any in particular updated please let me know. **


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